Not so long ago, I announced in these pages that the Good Old Days were not in many ways as good as we Good Old Guys and Gals remember them to be ("Were those the days?" Feb. 21, 2016). Yet often when I look about my air-conditioned Wi-Fi direct-deposit flat-screen smart-phone 21st-century bubble, I miss and yearn for some institution or arrangement of that bygone realm, the Past.
And though quantum physics may assure us that the passage of time is an illusion and that all points in space-time are, as it were, simultaneous, I find no comfort in knowing that somewhere in space-time a freckle-faced red-haired 8-year-old is sitting on a stool at the soda fountain of Mackey's Drug Store in Wall Lake, Iowa, consuming a chocolate malt that seems to him a foretaste of Heaven. I'm stranded in the here and now, and I want one of those pourable bubbly malteds made with real malt and whole milk and hand-packed ice cream, not one of today's insipid soft-serve McShakes.
"There you go, Michael," Mr. Mackey would say, expertly pouring half my malt into a sundae glass and leaving the rest beside it in its metal mixing container, present ecstasy, with more to come. Mr. Mackey was something of a celebrity in my world: He was colorblind, had two adopted daughters and owned the first power lawn mower I had ever seen, a reel mower with a motor that drove the cutting reel and the wheels. This type of mower would cleanly cut each blade of grass and toss it gently into a basket, leaving a neatly manicured lawn unmarred by the windrows of mulched grass left by today's rotary mowers.
But I digress. Mr. Mackey presided over a soda fountain, a marble-topped bar with a row of rotating stools on the customer side and all sorts of marvelous apparatus on Mr. Mackey's: swan-necked faucets and syrup pumps and deep vats of hard ice cream — vanilla and chocolate and chocolate chip and butter-brickle and Neapolitan — a red Coke machine that rose above the counter like a truncated blimp, a green malt-mixer against the mirror on the back wall. From this center of power and expertise, Mr. Mackey concocted and dispensed ice cream cones, sodas, sundaes, cherry and chocolate Cokes, green rivers, and those wicked good chocolate malteds.
The people who gathered at the soda fountain were there not by appointment, as in present-day coffeehouses, nor did they disappear into their cyberbubbles once they were settled on their stools; they were there casually, to buy what they needed, to take a break from the heat or the cold or the routines of their days, to hear the latest local news, aka gossip: farmers buying mastitis medicine, mothers buying talcum powder, 8-year-old boys free-reading at the yardlong rack of comic books (I'd be stoking my nightmares with "Tales from the Crypt," which my parents wouldn't allow in the house); Casey Corn the dragline operator and his wife, Helen, who owned the most elaborate cuckoo clock I've ever seen; Charlie Langfritz the wisecracking carpenter; Emma Yohnke, mainstay of my grandmother's bridge club (my grandfather called them "the Silent Four"), filling a prescription from Dr. Blum. It was at this counter that, in the spring of 1940, a young high school teacher and coach first met the railroad station agent's middle daughter, starting a sequence of cause and effect that produced, over time, a red-haired reader of horror comics and, more recently, this article. All of them, us, pausing at the soda fountain to catch up on who's doing what to whom and to enjoy something delicious.
O bring back the soda fountain! And while we're at it, we could bring back the Woolworth's lunch counter, or its Dinkytown equivalent, the Gray's Campus Drug lunch counter. This gathering place occupied a rear quarter of the store and consisted of two U-shaped counters where customers sat on rotating stools (I did love those rotating stools) and enjoyed breakfast, lunch or dinner, with daily specials.
The lunch counter's reliably good comfort food was served, or rather, slung, by a lanky, laconic, gray-haired waitress named Ray, who never wrote an order down and never got an order wrong. In my dissertation-writing days, I'd come staggering up to the Gray's lunch counter, stupefied by my hours in the library.
"Help you," Ray would declare, and I'd order a plate of manna-in-the-wilderness French toast if it were still morning, or an ambrosial hot beef sandwich if it were afternoon. Five minutes later, the requested platter would come sliding into my sight beside the cup of coffee Ray had poured, unordered, when I first took my seat, and I would be comforted.