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The diamond engagement ring is losing its luster with millennials

Young couples are moving away from pricey, showy stones to more personal, affordable designs.

The Philadelphia Inquirer

July 25, 2019 at 1:48PM

A growing number of young couples are opting for “alternative” engagement rings — replacing the standard diamond with colored gems. (The Minnesota Star Tribune)

When Megan Shoemaker's boyfriend proposed to her, he knew better than to purchase a classic engagement ring dominated by a glittering white diamond.

"I'm not a very traditional person," Shoemaker said. "I just never saw myself with the round, brilliant-cut white diamond, even though they're absolutely gorgeous. It's just not me."

In a continuing trend of bucking tradition, a growing number of young couples are opting for "alternative" engagement rings — replacing the standard Tiffany's fare with colored gems, locally designed bands or ethically sourced stones. For some, it's a way to save money. Others want to tailor their rings to their personalities. In all instances, it's shaking up the jewelry industry.

The rise of Pinterest, Instagram and Etsy has papered the internet with glam shots of rings with black diamonds, knife-edge bands, oval sunstone rings, even coffin-shaped stones, rebooting the idea of what a ring can look like. Besides standard white, diamonds come in varying shades of gray, brown, blue and more — tinged by the presence of elements like nitrogen and boron. Galaxy diamonds, flecked with black and white imperfections, have a salt and pepper appearance.

Forget diamonds altogether and the selection expands: Sapphires and rubies are a good pick for durability. Opals, pearls and morganite (a pink-colored stone that's a variety of beryl) have a refined look.

Customers are getting more comfortable in thinking outside the traditional box, said Lauren Priori, who works at Philadelphia's L. Priori Jewelry.

"People are getting married a little bit older, so they have more confidence in their own sense of style," she said. "They have a broader understanding of what's possible. It can be exactly how you want it to be."

When she consults with clients, Priori asks questions to suss out what kind of ring they want: What does their lifestyle look like? Do they see themselves wearing the ring every day? Do they see themselves wearing an engagement ring at all a couple of decades from now? Do they plan to replace the engagement ring with a band on their wedding day?

Finances also play a role, and the traditions are changing there, too.

Talk to someone about buying an engagement ring, and they'll probably mention the "three-month rule" — the idea that the partner proposing has to spend three months of gross salary on the bling. But that rule has grown outdated. According to a New York Times poll this year, most people spend two weeks' pay on a ring.

At 27, ring designer Michelle Lattner of Keta Metals is at an age where her peers are talking about getting engaged. Spending several months of salary on a ring seems impractical when more expensive life goals loom on the horizon, she said.

"It's like, 'I have to put away $500 [a month] for this engagement ring that I'll get a year down the road,' " Lattner said. "I would rather spend that $500 on a really awesome trip or a down payment on a house."

A former classmate of Lattner's, Mary Pohlod, noticed her work on social media and commissioned her to make both an engagement ring and the rings for her wedding.

For the engagement ring, Pohlod opted for a 2-carat champagne topaz for around $200. Then she worked with Lattner to finalize the design of all the bands. For three rings, the total came to around $500, including the stone.

"It was kind of a no-brainer for me," Pohlod said. "Any stones that aren't diamonds are way less expensive, almost absurdly so. I wanted to put that money toward our life together."