Came home from a trip to Target Sunday night, and lo. Lo and behold:
The plows had shoved a wall of snow in front of the driveway. Barreling through was not an option; this wasn't just powdery snow, but hard-packed snow studded with ice boulders two feet wide. Why, just get out the snowblower, you say. Don't have one. Even if I had one, I suspect it would've balked at digesting the rocks, and if it did manage to gnaw off a hunk or two, I would fear braining a dog-walker with one of the projectiles.
The only reasonable response: small charges of gelegnite, strategically placed, followed by a satisfying cry of FIRE IN THE HOLE. Flame throwers lack precision - and besides, flames just bounce off ice like this. You think you hear it a sizzle, but it's just the ice, laughing.
