JoJo Fletcher, your Jordan Rodgers is calling
Please excuse Minnesota sports fans for joining the bandwagon by checking out 'The Bachelorette" Monday to collect dirt on the estrangement between finalist Jordan Rodgers and his brother Green Bay Packers star Aaron Rodgers. But don't forgive them if they claim to have gotten anything out of it.
All week, ABC had hinted that the latest two-hour episode would go deep on what had caused the future Hall of Famer to give his younger brother and the rest of his California clan the silent treatment for more than a year.
But while "Bachelorette" JoJo Fletcher stepped up to the line several times, she never crossed it, opting instead to dive into yet another makeout session.
It's at this point that I'm supposed to warn TV watchers that what follows constitutes as spoiler alerts, except in this case, NOTHING HAPPENED. Nada. Zip. And that starts with offering ammunition we can use the taunt the opposition during the upcoming season.
Fletcher had traveled to the Rodgers' boyhood home in Chico, CA as part of "family week," in which she charms the loved ones of the final four contenders while "exploring" her suitors' past.
In the case of Jordan, that meant holding his hand as they revisited his high school where both Rodgers played for the Pleasant Valley Vikings (the team even shares the same logo as the Packers' sworn enemy) and smooched in the library.
Aaron's name came up several times -- she noticed his pictures plastered across the walls of the coaches' office, which little bro sniffed at as if he was looking back at some ancient poster of a '90s boy band.
"It doesn't need to be a topic," Jordan said later while pitching woo in the bleachers. "I'd rather not talk about it."
The rest of the brood was equally mum with the most sould-bearing revelation coming from third brother Luke.
"I can tell he really misses Aaron," he said. "We miss our brother."
Hey, at least he mentioned his name!
One name that didn't come up was Olivia Munn, whose relationship with Aaron is rumored to be at the core of the rift. Would it have killed the network to at least have shown a clip from "Ride Along 2"?
According to People magazine, Jordan once date Munn's trainer, which may go a long way to explaining the division. That tidbit is not mentioned.
The two-hour slog also barely touched on any resentment Jordan may feel about having a sibling that some consider to be the greatest ever while his own professional career was mostly relegated to filling out the practice squad.
OK, so maybe you want to give "The Bachelorette" credit for rising above the tabloid fray and focusing instead on furthering its fairy-tale romance. Don't even try.
The entire goo-goo eye episode went almost nowhere, unless you get sick pleasure out of watching four guys proclaim their ever-lasting love to a prize who herself won't use the L-word until she's fully committed (or gets a contract with E!, whichever comes first).
After criss-crossing the country to check out the home fronts of her beaus, Fletcher was poised to send one future casino greeter on his way -- and then balked. (Luke Pell, at the last second declared that he was madly, throwing a wrench into her dismissal plans). That left viewers with a "To Be Continued" finish -- followed by a tease for a FOUR-HOUR tour next week spread over two nights.
Think Aaron squeeze in a cameo during those proceedings? You'd be better off expecting the Detroit Lions will win next year's Super Bowl.