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Swardson's missing ride is back in the stable

January 30, 2011 at 4:00AM

Nick Swardson's, ah, "Batmobile" has been recovered.

The Minneapolis native's luxury automobile was stolen while parked outside the Improv in Los Angeles, as TMZ reported last week when photogs for the TV show and website happened to see Swardson walking aimlessly along a street.

Swardson calmly told TMZ that the car had been stolen four days earlier. He played it for laughs when first asked what kind of car it was: "A leopard-print Miata." There was another joke from the comedian and actor when asked if he'd left anything personal in the car: "Just my gun collection."

Why would Nick wait four days to report his car missing?

"I don't know," said his sister, Rachel Swardson, whose Twin Cities hospital patient recovery care business, once called Go Home Gorgeous, is now Bavia Health. "It's probably a most surreal experience. You have a car and now you don't. I've got to think that probably had something to do with it."

I withdrew my question about which Jag her brother owned after remembering that earlier in our conversation, Rachel insisted the stolen car was a Porsche, not a Jag. Listen for yourselves at this link to TMZ: www.startribune.com/a157.

"I know he loves his car. The only detail ..." said Rachel, who stopped mid-sentence because she burst into uproarious laughter. "I don't think I can say this. Nick's so unassuming. We were talking about my minivan," said the mother of three, "and he said, Yeah I just got a new car. It's so badass it looks like...."

This is a family newspaper, so Rachel can't be quoted in full, although I shared it with my Twitter followers Friday. All I can tell readers is that Nick described his car as the superhero's version of that sext message that got Brett Favre in trouble.

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K-k-k-krazy

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries probably think kismet brought them together because of their respective families' fascination with the letter K. People can feel a bond because of some pretty silly things at the start of a romance.

Kardashian has four siblings with K names -- Khloe, Kourtney, Kendall and Kylie -- plus their mother, Kris Jenner. Only her brother, Robert Kardashian, and her stepdad, Bruce Jenner, the former Olympian, break the pattern. Robert was named after their dad, the late attorney and pal of O.J., who helped him get off double murder charges.

Humphries, of the NBA's Nets, has two sisters, Krystal and Kaela, according to a December article in People magazine. He told the mag (Kris is now a shoo-in for a nod as its most beautiful or sexiest man) that his parents, William and Debra Humphries, who live in Minnesota, gave their kids names that start with K because they thought it was trendy: "Parents try to distinguish their kids sometimes," Kris said.

Speaking of kids, Kim Kardashian sent a picture over Twitter of a young Kris Humphries with the comment: "This is what I want my son to look like."

He is adorable, but I haven't talked to a woman yet who thinks this is a smart move. Isn't planning a future with a man in the infancy of a relationship one of the best ways to make him bolt? Jury's still out on whether Kim's just punking us with this romance.

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With Kourtney already demonstrating that she'll put the baby buggy before the bridal carriage, Kris better diligently man his essence if he wants to become a daddy on his own timetable.

Anchor chairs changing

When baby Ella's mom, "Fox 9 Morning News" anchor Dawn Stevens, returns from maternity leave, she will have a new partner at her desk.

Jason Matheson is replacing anchor Tom Butler on the early news with Stevens that airs from 4:30 to 6 a.m. weekdays. Matheson's elevation to anchor continues his Ryan Seacrest-like domination of the market.

Matheson already co-hosts "Fox 9 Morning Buzz" from 9 to 10 a.m. with anchor Alix Kendall. From 1 to 3 p.m., he co-hosts on MyTalk107.1 FM with Alexis Thompson. He does "Weekend Buzz" alone, "but Katie Couric is with me in spirit," said the CBS anchor's most vocal media fan in the metro.

This new early-morning anchoring gig is a little like somebody hanging a "Hey, network execs, he's ripe for plucking!" sign around Matheson's neck.

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Just don't paw his neck in the process. Like Queen Elizabeth and Oprah, Jason doesn't like to be touched first, and he hates having his hair mussed. (Make it HAPPEN, Dawn!)

C.J. is at 612.332.TIPS or cj@startribune.com. E-mailers, please state a subject -- "Hello" doesn't count. Attachments are not opened, so don't even try. More of her attitude can be seen on Fox 9 Thursday mornings.

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C.J.

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