Stephen Colbert was an equal opportunity offender on his second “Late Show,” ripping presidential candidates for their lame online merchandise store offerings.

Starting with Rand Paul’s “Rand”-emblazoned crap, Colbert quipped: “Lots of great gift ideas for everyone you know named Rand.”

Of course, there was plenty more to make fun of, like a Hillary Clinton drink cooler, a “Feel the Bern” Bernie Sanders coffee mug, and a ridiculously overpriced Jeb Bush guacamole bowl.

“When you buy campaign merch, you’re not just buying useless crap — you’re doing your patriotic duty to buy useless crap,” Colbert assured his CBS audience.

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Then he compared the far-away election to the anticipation of something a bit more in the pop culture zeitgeist, and in TheWrap’s wheelhouse: “Star Wars.”

“Who has the time to obsess about an event a year away that doesn’t involve a Wookie?” Colbert asked rhetorically.

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