St. Paul killer testifies she was defending herself

She was known as a diva, and Michelle Rae Wilson was proud of it.

She made it part of her e-mail and MySpace monikers, she told the jury Tuesday during her murder trial in Ramsey County District Court, and she long had admired Cher and Beyoncé -- divas who proved you need not be part of a group to "rise to the top," Wilson said.

When she shot and killed her ex-boyfriend Carl Jackson, 33, in her St. Paul home on Jan. 13, 2008, she testified, it was to stop him from grabbing her gun and killing her. Earlier that same evening, she said, Jackson had tried to force her to have sex.

But during the seven-day trial, which is expected to go to the jury after closing arguments Wednesday, Wilson's stated views of independence, women and herself have been countered by evidence that a prosecutor says has revealed Wilson's possessive need for Jackson.

During an exchange recorded about two weeks before his death, and played to the jury last week, Wilson could be heard saying to him, "Please do not give up on us," before later screaming, "Please, Carl, fix my pain ... Fix my pain! Fix it!"

At least 28 times during the four-minute, 51-second recording, Jackson told Wilson he had to go or wanted to leave -- or implored her to turn off her home security system so that he could exit without incident, police Sgt. John Wright testified Friday.

Two weeks later, Jackson was shot three times while on the phone with a 911 operator. His ex-girlfriend had beaten him upside his head, he told the operator, and he wanted a squad to come because he didn't want to put his hands on her.

On Monday, the first of two days during which she testified, Wilson recalled meeting Jackson at a Halloween party on Oct. 26, 2007, and agreeing to enter into an exclusive relationship with him about Thanksgiving. But then, she said, the relationship crumbled amid possessiveness and jealousy on Jackson's part.

Twice that December, Wilson said, he raped her. She did not file police reports, she said, because she feared retribution and because she did not want to be "re-victimized" in court.

On the day he was killed, she said, Jackson barged into her home, and accused her of not wanting to have a baby with him -- and even aborting one. She shot him after she said he tried to force her to have sex, assaulted her and charged at her from behind.

She fired six shots.

During cross-examination Tuesday, prosecutor Margaret Galvin presented an e-mail that Wilson had written to her cousin afterward saying that out of "compassion" she had "let [Jackson] in that day."

"This is your temper?" Galvin asked Wilson.

"Yes," she said.