No one died performing the Spider-Man musical last night, because it was cancelled. At least now we know exactly what happened:
With some fast rewrites, they could change the hero from Spider-Man to Wile E. Coyote, change the title from "Turn Off the Dark" to "Slow Down That Bird," and when someone ran off a platform it would fit the plot much better. No, amend that; even if they did put the actor in a rig so it would look like he hung in the air for a few seconds before he realized there was nothing beneath his feet, it would still go awry and dump him on the stage with a sickening crunch.
Some day this will be the basis for a much-more successful musical that examines the Phantom-of-the-Opera-style hauntings of an actor who was scarred for life in the Spider-Man musical, and has waited years to wreak revenge.
