As they stumble toward the finish line in their second season in Target Field, the Twins look like the middle-class family that splurges on a nice, used BMW, then quickly finds it can't afford the maintenance costs.
The Twins spent a franchise-record $115 million on a team that will be lucky to avoid last place in a weak division. After decades of overachieving despite financial constraints, the 2011 edition is proving that neither a new ballpark nor inflated spending ensures success.
"It's deceptive, because we haven't had our payroll on the field," manager Ron Gardenhire said.
That is true, and incomplete. Injuries remain the primary reason this team has imploded.
There is another reason, though: The Twins, like novice investors or the uninitiated in Las Vegas, found themselves with just enough cash to get themselves into trouble.
With a lower payroll, they never would have invested $14.5 million in a skinny Japanese shortstop.
Tsuyoshi Nishioka is Twins property for two more years. If they had kept J.J. Hardy, they would have been dramatically better at shortstop, and would have been able to spend more money on their remarkably shallow bullpen.
Without a new stadium and the promise of record payrolls, the Twins never would have spent $184 million on one player, not even a reigning MVP from St. Paul.