They are the mad scientists of the NBA, testing the limits of dysfunctional DNA, dumping beakers of toxins into pans of hazardous waste until they create something never seen before.
In their latest experiment, the Minnesota Timberwolves have taken a pretty good former basketball coach and transformed him into a Three-Headed Prince.
This creature appears benign but, like kudzu, has the ability to engulf its surroundings if left unchecked.
Flip Saunders was a pretty good NBA head coach. Now, thanks to his relationship with Wolves owner Glen Taylor and the Wolves' inability to hire promising candidates who haven't golfed with Taylor, Saunders is the Wolves' Basketball Czar, Grand Poobah, Lord of the Realm and Master of All He Surveys.
Imagine the power he'd wield if he ever coached in an NBA Finals.
Leave it to the Timberwolves to create the potential for an entirely new form of dysfunction. They have hired Saunders as their next coach. In a vacuum, this is a logical move. In the constant maelstrom that is the Timberwolves' hierarchy, this was the only sensible move remaining.
How long will it be before Flip Saunders the coach starts complaining about the roster Flip Saunders the team president handed him, and Flip Saunders the owner has to step in to broker a peace?
Today, Flip will introduce Flip as the next coach of the Timberwolves, who will try to become the most successful coach the franchise has employed since Flip and try to save the equity that Flip has invested in the worst-run American franchise since Howard Johnson's.