Vikings General Manager Rick Spielman promised to exhaust 13 categories of coaching candidates to make the most important hire of his career.
Would he hire a small college offensive whiz? A retired legend? A Bud (Grant), a Chud (fired Browns coach Rob Chudzinkski), or a dud (Jim Schwartz is available)?
After a search of every galaxy identified by the Hubble telescope, Spielman landed on category No. 11: NFL defensive coordinator who cusses a lot. That category was wedged between No. 10: NFL defensive coordinator who cusses a little and No. 12: NFL defensive coordinator who makes players contribute to a swearing jar.
Spielman's search never became as mysterious or open-minded as he promised. He interviewed mostly NFL defensive coordinators, and reportedly narrowed his list to three finalists who were NFL defensive coordinators: Mike Zimmer, Todd Bowles and Dan Quinn.
The Vikings hired Zimmer on Wednesday, meaning they have replaced a defensive-minded coach known as a leader with a defensive-minded coach known as a leader.
While Spielman won't win any awards for creative thinking, he conducted a rational search and landed an intriguing candidate with a strong résumé. With no one reminiscent of Chip Kelly or Jim Harbaugh available, Spielman made a safe choice, hiring a veteran coach with widespread success who will fulfill the mandate of most coaching changes: Acting dramatically different from his predecessor.
Leslie Frazier believed in quiet leadership. He gently pushed buttons. Zimmer tends to smash them with a hammer while conjugating four-letter verbs.
There is no doubt Zimmer can coach defense and lead men. The questions he will have to answer in his first head-coaching job are the same every novice NFL head coach has to answer, including Frazier three years ago: