Slogging toward midnight, going to the Fair

A few years back, a guy I knew who worked at the racetrack told me about his cousin, who'd been hired as a minor-league umpire. I went out to upstate New York and hung out with Jeff and his partner for the first two games of their professional umpiring careers. Those two New York-Penn League games were a lot like what I watched Thursday night -- except that the umpiring was better in the minors.

Just sayin'.

The umps didn't beat the Twins. Joe West flubbed two calls against the Twins at second base and Rob Drake blew one at first. The home plate ump, Dan Bellino, tried to even things out when he appeared to miss three straight strikes on pitches thrown by Detroit's closer in the 11th -- when the Twins tied the score one last time before Gerald Laird's golf-swing homer in the 13th.

Wait a second. Those New York-Penn League teams I saw would have been able to turn a few of the half-dozen or so double plays that both teams fouled up Thursday night. That was more like the American Legion team in northwestern Minnesota I wrote about many, many years ago. (You guys know who you are.)

It was that ugly -- and the second time in three games that the Twins performed like a team 23 1/2 games out of first place instead of a team with a 3 1/2-game lead. That's troublesome.

There's no sense doing much dissection. The bullpen spit up a four-run lead on a night when the two end relievers were unavailable -- and the relieving started earlier than expected because Scott Baker left after two innings with a sore elbow. Michael Cuddyer and Delmon Young "tried" grounding into game-ending double plays in the 11th, but the Tigers fumbled both of those chances away.

(La Velle's blog has an excellent post-game update on the state of the pitching staff and what might happen today. Given their fragile health -- and Gardy's preference for managing batter/pitcher match-ups -- I'm surprised there weren't more bodies called up when the roster limit expanded on Wednesday.)

That's all. I've got to refocus and get ready for today's trip to the State Fair, where I'll be at the Star Tribune booth from 11:30 a.m. until 12:30 p.m.

If my hour at the State Fair goes like this game, the following will happen: I'll spill a beer on my shirt. I'll drop the cheese curds that someone brings me as an offering. I'll smack my head against the Star Tribune booth overhang. Somebody's toddler will barf on my shoes. I'll knock someone's drink from their hand when I turn to say "Hello" to someone else. I'll stab myself with a Pronto Pup stick. I'll accidently drop an F-bomb. I'll spill someone else's beer. And then the hour will be over.

But we're going to be better than that. Much better. Today's schedule: A State Fair appearance and then tickets in Section 219.