Single dads get lessons for fatherhood

As a single father to three young children, ranging in age from 3 to 9 years old, Lee Cody Wilson definitely has moments when the weight of his responsibility feels particularly heavy.

"There are some days when I tell my kids that Dad needs a timeout," he said with a laugh. "But every day, we all just get up and do what we need to do."

Wilson, a recovering addict for 13 years, said he has had peace of mind since his family was accepted into Fathers and Children Together (FACT), an initiative funded by the Housing and Urban Development agency. The 24-month transitional housing and family development program serves about 45 homeless families, mostly single fathers with legal custody of their children. It's administered by Emerge Community Development of Minneapolis in partnership with several local agencies.

Today Wilson and his family are happy to have a home, after having spent two months in a Minneapolis shelter before moving into one of the Emerge Villages partner sites.

Families are connected to programs that help them with employment, child support, chemical and mental health issues, said DeVon Nolen, director of the Emerge Villages program. About 90 children between kindergarten and eighth grade are tutored in math and reading during the school year, connect with mentors and participate in activities such as a weeklong residential camp in August.

Another father's story

Jimmy Bostic and his 12-year old son, Jimmy, Jr., have been part of the program for the past seven months. The two spent about 90 days in a homeless shelter after Bostic lost his job and their home because of chemical dependency.

"Living here has definitely been a benefit for Jimmy Jr. His overall attitude has changed at school and at home," said Bostic. "Everything for us is a work in progress."

Both Wilson and Bostic regularly participate in parenting programs with FACT. Bostic said he frequently comes away with "different ideas that have become tools for me to use in my own household."

Wilson, who has a job through the Tree Trust community support program, was raised by a single mother. He found it a challenge that he never learned how to be a father from his own family.

"Now I know that my kids come first. I come second. I know I have to stay free from all alcohol and drugs and have to be stable and healthy for them," he said.

Responsibility comes first

"I think young men really have to ask themselves if they are ready to be fathers," he said. "My mother taught me that you have to take care of what you get. If you're not ready to put your kids first, you're not ready."

Bostic, who also has a 23-year-old daughter, believes setting attainable goals as a father is what matters.

"There are not a lot of programs or avenues like this one for fathers in the city," he said. "You have to take things one step at a time and ask for help if you need it. You have to work hard to reach your goals and you have to put the children first."