LOS ANGELES - Simon Cowell was 5,400 miles away from the rest of "The X Factor" judges and he still managed to tick them off. Joining a press conference via satellite from London this summer, he traded barbs with the show's host, Steve Jones, compared his renewed relationship with Paula Abdul to "The Exorcist II," and accused Nicole Scherzinger of ruthlessly dumping the Pussycat Dolls.

"I wish you were here so I could hit you," Scherzinger snapped after Cowell interrupted her for the third time. Music to our ears.

Those of us sickened by last season's saccharine-infused "American Idol" can rejoice Wednesday night in the return of Simon the Grouch, the smartest, slyest and most ambitious talent in the reality TV game.

"Can we beat 'Idol'? You don't enter something for the silver medal," said Cowell of "The X Factor" -- yet another reality show aimed at finding the country's best singer. "You do it because you want to be No. 1. We're going to shove everything at this and try to make it the best show on TV. We see this as a game-changer."

The first step in his war strategy: convincing viewers that they won't be tuning in for an "Idol" retread.

To differentiate themselves, the British import will allow judges to mentor contestants (think "The Voice"). Anyone older than 12 can sign up ("Idol" hopefuls have to be between 15 and 28). Groups are eligible (think "America's Got Talent"). There's a fatter prize: $5 million (think "Survivor") plus a commercial during the Super Bowl. Contestants also compete in several categories: young guys, young girls, older singers and groups.

"This is more performance-oriented" than "Idol," said Mike Darnell, who as the chief of Fox's reality department oversees both shows. "There are set pieces. There's smoke. There are dancers. It's more variety-driven."

Mariah Carey and Rihanna are among the big names rumored to be dropping by.

"This show is feeling completely different," Abdul said. "It's got an epic feeling."

Maybe, but we're more excited about the same ol' feeling between Abdul and Cowell.

"It was kind of like Mommy and Daddy had a trial separation, but now they're back together," host Jones said. "They still argue all the time."

Those anticipating a Cowell blowup won't have to wait long. During auditions, cameramen captured him losing it when the production crew was slightly off its game.

"I think it's really important that when you make reality TV that it be as real as possible," Cowell said. "There are cameras hidden all through this process, so you're seeing a real process not even the contestants are aware of and, half the time, I'm not even aware of."

Then there's the new blood on the four-judge panel. Longtime producer and record executive L.A. Reid comes across as the grown-up of the group, although early word is that he can be a particularly harsh critic. Scherzinger's backbone is so strong that it's no wonder executive producer Cowell moved her from co-host to judge after Cheryl Cole was dropped for reasons that remain a mystery.

"I cried for days when I was asked, because I felt maybe more at home on the panel because I've been through the process," said Scherzinger, who competed in the WB series "Popstars" a decade ago before breaking through with the Dolls. "I love our big, dysfunctional, happy family."

There's a strong chance that America will love it, as well. The British version of "X Factor" is that country's No. 1 show, so popular that it knocked the original "Pop Idol" -- the show that spawned "American Idol" -- off the air.

But is there enough talent out there for all these competitions, which also include "The Sing Off," "CMT's Next Country Superstar," "America's Got Talent" and "The Voice"?

"The best thing about talent is that there's never a shortage of it," Abdul said. "It's really astonishing."