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A few minutes into following my colleagues' coverage of a mass shooting that left 10 dead and 10 wounded during a Lunar New Year dance party, I started to wonder if years of being a journalist had compromised my humanity.
Because even as I tried to focus on the tragedy and grief of the victims, I had one question on my mind:
What race was the shooter, and what race were the victims?
But perhaps I'm not alone? Asking that question has become routine in a country where mass shootings happen hundreds of times a year. A town or a location will trend on Twitter, and we ask, almost automatically: Which political, ethnic, sexual or religious minority is under attack today? In which direction shall we focus our outrage?
In November a gunman killed five people in a gay nightclub in Colorado Springs, Colo. A few months before that, a heavily armed 18-year-old white man killed 10 people at a supermarket in a predominantly Black neighborhood of Buffalo, N.Y. In 2019 a mass shooter targeting Latinos killed 23 people at a Walmart in El Paso.
Not all mass shootings are racial or political. Authorities are still looking for the motive in Saturday's attack, in which the suspect was a 72-year-old Asian man. But I think the aftermath of shootings often shows us how politically insane our discourse has become.