Science is about to tackle one of the most perplexing mysteries of our curious age: why is Ozzy Osbourne still alive?
By "partying" they don't mean "cavorts around with a lampshade on his head, trying to organize a game of Charades" but "drinks until his liver seeks a restraining order." Keith Richards would seem a likely candidate, but it's possible he died in 1993 and is just too full of preserving fluids to notice. Ozzy's continual tenure on the right side of the grave is a mystery, but no one begrudes him his continued existence; when we met the supposed Dark Lord of Metal on his TV show, we saw a mumbling, hapless guy who puttered around the house trying to figure out things like "drawers" and "faucets" made him somewhat loveable, like Uncle Fenster after a lobotomy.
If nothing else, we'll find out if there's a gene for dumb luck.
