Saying goodbye to 2014 in rhyming couplets

The year was unpredictable, an amazement of variety.
Zygi Wilf feared the Packers — not the Audubon Society.
Such marvelous people. From Barkhad Abdi to Eric Kaler.
Olga Viso, Sally Wingert, Tom Bakk and Glen Taylor.
Louise Erdrich, Dan Barreiro, Lucia Watson, the chef.
Neil Gaiman and two Johnsons — Bernadeia and Jeff.
Stew Mills, Wilhelmina Wright, Mike Zimmer, Jerry Kill.
Mark Dayton, Janeé Harteau and Pohlad (comma) Bill.
Osmo Vänskä's got the band back, there is no debate.
Garth Brooks wants a fishing license? Make it in-state.
'Twas bye to Gardy and the Bachmanns after venerable stays.
Now who'll yell at umps, who'll pray away the gay?
Kaywin Feldman, Amy Klobuchar, Prince and Tommy Mischke.
Nikola Pekovic, Joe Mauer and Stanislaw Skrowaczewski.
Surly, Summit, Indeed, Fulton and, yes, even Buds.
Schell's and Bent Paddle. Who's drinking all these suds?
The Green Line finally opened in a winter we barely survived.
Pointergate — ha! — a real exclusive for Channel 5.
Blong Yang, Abdi Warsame, Linea Palmisano, Jacob Frey.
With Betsy Hodges, it's the lineup the city's now run by.
The Ricky Nolasco investment was anything but opportune.
Welcome, Brian Cornell — how's Target's store in Saskatoon?
The Replacements reboot, MIA goes big with Valentino.
Maya Moore, Tom Emmer, Alan Page, Richard Pitino.
The Republicans advanced, ensuring a new speaker.
Thus spoke Kanabec, Polk, Kandiyohi and Meeker.
Yvonne Prettner Solon, Joe Dowling and Hubert Joly.
A Justice Michelle MacDonald?  Nearly a pretrial detainee.
Terry Ryan, Brian Setzer, Kurt Daudt, Lisa Goodman.
Dave Frederickson, Ricky Rubio, Jonny Lang, Stewart Woodman.
Al Franken, Carlos Gomez — oops! Traded to Wisconsin.
The council's Barb & Andy?  We're not short of Johnsons.
It was a wonderful year of surprises beyond all words.
But Zygi — really! — who's gonna pick up all those birds?
Tony Brown is a writer living in Minneapolis. He can be reached at tbrownwrites@gmail.com.