Gail Schwartz wants to keep her 85-year-old husband out of a nursing home as long as she can, but it isn't easy.
Because David Schwartz, a retired lawyer, has vascular dementia and can no longer stay alone in their home in Chevy Chase, Md., she tends to his needs from 1 p.m. to 11 p.m. Monday through Saturday and all of Sunday.
An aide now stays overnight because Schwartz awakened so frequently, disoriented and upset, that his wife began to suffer the ill effects of disrupted sleep. "I need my rest," she said. "I'm no spring chicken myself."
Indeed, Gail Schwartz is 78. While she thinks her husband does better at home — "he's getting 24-hour attention, and you don't get that in a nursing home," she said — friends point out that the arrangement is much harder on her. She worries, too, about costs climbing as Schwartz's health declines and his needs increase.
For now, though, she manages, part of an apparently growing phenomenon: The old taking care of the old.
Every few years, the National Alliance for Caregiving and the AARP Public Policy Institute survey the state of caregiving; their latest report focused in part on caregivers older than 75. They constitute 7 percent of those who provide unpaid care to a relative or friend, the survey found — more than 3 million seniors helping with the activities of daily living (bathing, dressing, using a toilet), instrumental activities of daily living (shopping, transportation, dealing with the health care system) and a rising tide of medical and nursing tasks.
Almost half of them report caring for a spouse; the others assist siblings and other relatives, friends or neighbors, most also 75 or older. About 8 percent of these oldest caregivers still care for parents.
The aging of the population has thrust more seniors into this role, said Gail Hunt, president and chief executive of the National Alliance for Caregiving. "There didn't use to be so many 95-year-olds," she said, "and someone's caring for those 95-year-olds."