A mailing arrived from the U of M the other day, telling us the wonderful things the U was doing. It's nice that they keep in touch. Makes me think I should call them and tell them how I'm doing. "I'm fine! What? That geology class? Oh, I use that knowledge all the time. Why, just the other day we were talking about the difference between schist and mica."
The card had a picture of a UMD scientist who is working with robots. She had a gentle smile and was looking into the face of the robot, which was turned away from the camera. The professor had "developed a team of friendly, interactive robots that can serve as caregiver assistants ... now, they're being tested in nursing homes."
You have an instinctive reaction to this, don't you? I want to scream, "No! I do not want to spend my dotage interacting with an indifferent hunk of plastic. I want to go out the normal way, interacting with an indifferent hunk of flesh."
But then you think: Given the choice between a robot programmed to pretend to be interested in me and an overworked, underpaid human with their own set of problems pretending to be interested in me, what's better?
Here's how it goes now:
Attendant: "And how are we today?"
Resident: "We are not the queen of England, so the first person plural doesn't really apply, and I am not happy. It's too cold in here. My eggs were runny. I can't turn on the TV and watch my stories. I think someone stole the batteries from the remote."
Attendant: (sighs internally) "And it's only 9! We have a full day ahead of us."