My brother, Eric, like puns and bad jokes. For example: Why don't
oysters donate to charity? Because they're shellfish. Or after we
went to see Tom Hanks in "Road to Perdition"--he promptly renamed it
"Road to Prediction."
This is relevant because, at some point, many years ago, after some
forgotten regular season Vikings' choke job, Eric renamed the Vikings
the "Pecans." Why? Because:
- "Pecans" kind of sounds like "vikings," at least if you use a Minnesota accent.
- When they inevitably play one of their lousy games, they're not Mighty Vikings, they're insignificant, easily-crunched nuts to be devoured by a better-prepared, harder-playing, more-focused, better-coached team.
- They drive their fans nuts by finding ridiculous new ways to lose.
On Sunday night, the Pecans returned. I haven't had the heart to
rewatch the game, or even look at the stats, but we all know what
happened. In most phases of the games, the Pecans outplayed the
Saints, in front of their raucous home crowd--but not in the most
important phase, ball security. Six fumbles?!?! And then, in the
category of "Completely Idiotic Penalty with a Super Bowl Berth at
Stake," the Pecans outscored the Saints 1-0.
I can't even blame the Ol' Kid Gunslinger. Before the season, I was
looking to pin disaster on him, but to gut it out with that ankle
injury...I agree with Hutchinson, he had to try to make something
happen on 3rd down on that last interception, and he just didn't have
the oomph with the hurt ankle.
But anyway, it wouldn't matter if the Pecans had Joe Montana crossed
with Johnny Unitas at QB--they always blow it. For once, I wish we
would play a good, solid game and get fairly beaten by a better team
in a championship game. Really, the 41-0 pasting by the Giants is
preferable to the Saints game and '98, and even the '87 Darrin Nelson
drop (the least vexing of these losses...at least Green made a good
play against Nelson).
I mean...twelve men in the huddle? All those crappy turnovers, and
the Minnesota team is still probably going to win, and then, one of
the worst mental errors the closing minute of an NFL playoff game.
Only the Pecans. The Return of the Pecans.
