Remembering a little brother lost too soon

At times, Larry Matsch seemed like the most pathetic kid ever to Tim Graham.

Larry was impossibly skinny, moved like Big Bird and talked like Elmer Fudd. His pop-bottle lenses and cowlicky hair did little to enhance his appeal.

But more than three decades after Larry died at the age of 11, Graham can't shake his indomitable spirit. Last year he finally began jotting down his memories of the little kid with the big heart.

The result, a funny and touching memoir titled "Little Larry," was published this fall. In it, Graham tells how Larry beat back the indifference and jeers of others with a love and forgiveness at once simple and profound.

"He was exposed to some really horrible bullying at a playground, but as horrible as these kids were to him, he would have nothing to do with holding a grudge against them," said Graham, a professional musician who lives in Farmington with his wife, Janine, and four children.

The book doesn't hold up Graham as a paragon of virtue. Graham, who considered Larry his stepbrother after his mother got engaged to Larry's dad, said he often resented Larry's devotion to him. It was an early test of his youthful Christian faith -- and one he admits he often failed.

"I made a lot of promises to Larry I never had an intention of keeping, and I was always very nervous about being around him in public," he said.

Graham, 44, grew up in St. Paul Park, earned a music degree from Minnesota State University Moorhead and began his career performing for the Medora Musical in the North Dakota badlands. He has worked as a show drummer for dinner theaters in the metro area, teaches music in his home and is active at Hosanna Lutheran Church in Lakeville.

Five years ago, he was run over by a pickup truck in Farmington while training for a bike race and suffered a brain injury. Graham lost about half of his working memory and had two years of therapy at the Sister Kenny Rehabilitation Institute.

For years his wife had urged him to write Larry's story and promised to find a publisher if he did. With time on his hands last year while his son was at basketball practice, he started going to a coffee shop and composing notes on his Palm Pilot, downloading them when he got home.

The story takes place in the 1970s, when Larry lived with his grandmother in Hastings. Because of their parents, Graham and Larry spent time together on weekends and during the week in the summer.

Larry's favorite game was Emergency, based on the TV show. Graham hated playing with him, and it rankled him all the more when Larry didn't seem to mind.

Kids often hurled the epithet "retard" at Larry, who had suffered oxygen deprivation at birth and took special education classes. Nevertheless, Graham said, "he had wisdom way beyond his years. He saw beyond the muck and saw the good stuff, somehow."

Before Larry entered the hospital for open-heart surgery in 1974, he thanked Graham for being his big brother. He died of complications a short time later.

"Anytime I feel like I'm going to be a little dishonest, I think, 'What would Larry do?'" said Graham, laughing. "It's kind of crazy, but he had a lifetime impact on me. I just thought it was time to share it with the world."

Kevin Duchschere • 952-882-9017