Reduce, Reuse, Regift!?

It's the most wonderful time of the year. You know the one! While our family is busying ourselves with celebrating the birth of Jesus, trying to find our bin of Christmas lights (Give us a break; we just moved!) and wondering if we'll get around to making gingerbread cookies, my mind is at work. Wondering.

Is it terribly tacky to regift at Christmas?

Now understand me here: I am no etiquette know-it-all. In fact, I'm an etiquette know-it-little. That is precisely why I've been wondering! My social graces are lacking, to be sure (even though I do hand address all the Christmas cards I send out because I just can't bear to slap a printed sticky label on the envelope when I already have printed, anything-but-handmade, cards inside).

But I have hardly been able to stop myself from spending what etiquette brain cells I do have on regifting.

I used to be pretty sure that regifting was among the tackiest of practices. But then again, before I was a mother, I knew everything about that, too. "I will so never traipse my kids around town in shirts covered with ketchup! Eww! Why do mothers do that!?" And then, of course, I became a mother and I learned exactly why "they" do that. Because they are tired of doing laundry and don't want to add to that chore if they can help it and because their toddler uses their shirt as a napkin no matter how many times they ask them not to and because it's just not worth changing them into a clean shirt to run to Target in because it will just get dirty again in 4 seconds and because they have way bigger fish to fry than to worry about what other people think about their children's ketchup-covered clothing. Like making sure everyone has a clean diaper and is fed and is not lost, for example.

So now, this Christmastime, I find myself pondering the previously held belief I had that regifting is for the birds.

Is it really that bad, especially in economic time like the ones we currently live in, to give someone a gift that we ourselves received?

I'd like to propose, again as no etiquette expert, that regifting is okay, especially if handled correctly.

When we have parties for our own children, we always make sure on the invitation to emphasize not bringing gifts. Or, if the attendee insists, we let them know that our child would be completely happy if their child wanted to wrap up one of their own toys and bring it, or to make a gift from hand out of paper and tape or whatnot. Truth be told, our children love it! After all, if thought and love is put into a gift, does it really matter if the gift came from Target that afternoon or two years ago? We hope for little more than that our children would not grow up with a bad case of the gimmes. I would do well to adopt that attitude myself, in fact. I struggle with it!

And such is, as I now am prone to think, the same with regifting. Where is it written that we need to spend a bunch of money on a gift for it to show love to another? If we find a gift on sale and give it to a family member, is it somehow less special than if we had paid full price? I think not. So, if we got an item as a gift ourselves, is it in poor taste to give it away to someone else?

Again, I think not. But.

But perhaps we would do well to consider both the person who gave us the gift and the person who we would like to give it to. Both of their feelings are equally important. It is my opinion that, in a situation where you have a good relationship with both people, honestly is the best policy and regifting can work beautifully!

"Mom, it was so thoughtful of you to get me the scarf you did. I am not sure that the colors work great with my wardrobe, though. Would you mind if I passed it along as as gift to someone I thought would enjoy it more?

After all, what kind of relationship would I have with my mom if I kept an item that she gave to me, that I wasn't going to use even though I knew someone else could, just for the sake of avoiding hurt feelings? Hurt feelings could come if I gave the gift away without asking her, to be sure, but in a situation with complete love and honesty, I think negativity can be avoided.

And then, to the recipient, "I don't want you to think I spent a lot of money on this present, because I didn't. It was actually given to me, but I'm not able to use it! Since you love scarves so much and look really good in green, I decided to give it to you. I hope you like it as much as I like our friendship!"

I have done this, actually. I've been given some things that I don't care for and have passed them on, asking a friend who I thought might like the item if they'd care for it, letting them know it was given to me so that I don't appear more generous than I actually am. If we don't pretend as if we actually purchased the item for full price, I think regifting is just fine! In cases when deception come into play, I do have an issue with regifting, though.

As with most things in life, I think the heart and motive behind all actions are really what count. If you truly mean to bless another person with a gift you know would really mean a lot to them, and you've made peace with the person who gave it to you, I say go for it! But if regifting is just a way to be stingy with both your money and your time, then I think it would be remiss to do so. A real gift does involve sacrifice. Perhaps opening your pocketbook up really wide is that sacrifice. But, other times, especially during difficult economic times, we can show our friends that we don't buy into the gimme gimme mentality. A thoughtful handmade gift that took all weekend to create can be just as meaningful, if not more, than one you ordered off the internet. It is the intent and heart of the giver that really count, I think. And in the case of regifting, if love is the motive, I am now of the opinion that it is not tacky at all! And, coupled with taking an afternoon to perhaps make a special handmade card or writing a meaningful letter to the person, the blessing could even be that much greater.

Gifts come from the heart. Those that don't, hold less meaning. But those that do can be beautiful blessings, whether they came from Neiman Marcus, Target or off your regifting shelf.

But that's just my opinion. What's yours?