John LaDue first harbored thoughts about killing people around the eighth grade.
"Not thinking about it seriously like I was now," he told police on the April night they found him in a storage unit with bomb-making materials. "Just, like, entertaining the thought."
In audio recordings of his initial police interviews, released Tuesday by the state court office, the 17-year-old is heard calmly and precisely describing his plans to first "dispose of" his family because he wanted as many victims as possible, set a fire in the country for a diversion and then carry out a massacre at the junior and senior high school in Waseca, Minn.
He offered varying explanations over the course of his hourslong talks with officers, according to the recordings and transcripts.
"I think I'm just really mentally ill and no one's noticed and I've been trying to hide it," he said initially, adding that he'd never been bullied and has good parents. He wanted to "get out of this place," he said.
Later, he told an officer he thought it would be "fun" and he would be following his idol, Columbine gunman Eric Harris.
Several times, LaDue told police that he wanted to see a psychiatrist. He'd wanted to ask many times, he said, but didn't want his parents to know because he feared getting treatment would mean "I might not think the same way I do now and I might not get my goal done."
After police foiled his plan anyway, he said, it didn't matter anymore. "I just want to find out what's wrong with me, actually," he said.