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At a time when Americans are increasingly told that political disagreement requires social exile, Aaron Brown’s column about Karl Oberstar Jr. and Matt Matasich is not just moving — it is instructive (“Despite arguments and heartbreak, bipartisan friendship shows the way,” Strib Voices, Dec. 24).
These were two men who argued fiercely about politics, history and power. Their disagreements were not academic; they were shaped by family trauma, lived experience and deeply held beliefs. And yet those differences did not prevent them from building a 40-year friendship grounded in community, faith, shared culture — and the simple discipline of staying at the table after conflict.
They argued loudly. Then one of them made popcorn.
That detail should stop us cold. Today’s political culture rewards outrage, purity tests and cutting people off. We are encouraged to believe that eliminating those who disagree with us is the same as standing for our values. It is not. Democracy does not survive on unanimity; it survives on relationships strong enough to endure disagreement.
Oberstar and Matasich did not compromise their convictions. They practiced something far rarer: respect without surrender and loyalty without ideological conformity.
In an era of escalating division and civic breakdown, this story is a reminder that the work of democracy does not begin online or in slogans. It begins in kitchens, churches and conversations we choose not to abandon.