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I currently have a contract with my doctor where I get exactly, to the day, the number of pain meds I need to keep the chronic pain I feel at bay. Even then, it is really close, to the minute, whether I can maintain a reasonable level of comfort. If I were to miss one of my three daily doses, I'd begin to feel the unrelenting pain caused by having undiagnosed shingles three years ago. If for some reason I were unable to get my meds every eight hours, every day, I would be on the ground screaming. Unable to function on my own.
It seems worth mentioning that I have weaned off morphine to hydromorphone to hydrocodone plus acetaminophen.
Every day I worry about whether I will be able to continue to get my pain meds. It dominates my thoughts.
My concern is that my doctor will quit or get reassigned or who knows what so that I will have to re-prove that my pain is real all over again. Why do I fear that? Because I know that my doctor has to deal with short-staffing, overwork or just plain burnout from her job. I worry that the insurance company will make arbitrary changes at any moment. I have also had other doctors arbitrarily try to make changes to my medicine regimen.
I also have to worry about whether the CEO of my insurance company will get his $3 million-plus bonus every year.
Now I have to worry about new legislation that will add another fee to the cost of my medicine. Just reading the commentary "Opioid fee would hurt those already in pain" (Opinion Exchange, March 29) causes a knot in my stomach and instant depressing thoughts. Go get counseling, you say? At what additional cost? More instant depression, I say.