Thanks to the Star Tribune and to columnist Gail Rosenblum for her series that began April 23 ("Talking about death: Tackling a once taboo topic"). The day before reading it, we had buried our 94-year-old father, Melvin, in Sauk Centre, Minn., under blue skies and with good cheer. Melvin died in total peace and on his own terms before joining his wife of 66 years and one son.
In the final three weeks of his life, Melvin saw the wedding of a granddaughter and hosted a family meeting of his surviving 11 children, at which he updated all on his health, his plans and his finances. He gave away all his stuff in an orderly fashion. He faced lab reports of cancer cells by saying "I'm old enough for cancer; let it be."
He then entered a fabulous hospice facility (Quiet Oaks), which added at least three happy days to his life. During those three days he pranked a half-dozen nurses with a wooden tube/rubber band contraption he had made in high school. He also played his squeezebox and sang two German songs with his lone surviving brother. He talked with all his children and grandchildren and many friends.
Melvin was prepared for death, and therefore so were his children. Each of his 26 grandchildren had a role in the program. We 11 siblings are as individually quirky as any family, but in facing and celebrating our father's death, we were as unified as Twins fans waving homer hankies in 1987.
Melvin's comfortable death validates the value of Rosenblum's series and serves as an example of the joy such preparedness can bring.
John Ehlert, Minneapolis
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The first installment of Rosenblum's series brought up the very important topic of end-of-life planning, and, as she so correctly pointed out, this is a subject that a lot of us avoid talking about. There are many options a person has to maintain some control over how their dying process plays out. One of the options that should be available for a terminally ill person is medical aid in dying. This year a bill was introduced called the End of Life Options Act that would allow a terminally ill person, after two doctors concur, to self-administer a lethal medication when suffering becomes unbearable. There are several safeguards to prevent any abuse of medical aid in dying, and in fact six other states already allow this practice. For more than 20 years, Oregon has had its Death With Dignity statute, and not one case of abuse has been reported. Having this option at the end of life can be incredibly comforting knowing a person does not have to die suffering. I would hope that medical aid in dying becomes another of the options available for one's end of life planning here in Minnesota.
David Sturgeon, Tonka Bay
Editor's note: The second two columns in Gail Rosenblum's series about how Minnesotans are embracing the end-of-life conversation will appear on Sunday and May 7, respectively. Rosenblum's columns can be found in the Variety section.