Welcome to the Monday edition of The Cooler, where you never know when you might write a headline you couldn’t dream up in a million years. Let’s get to it:
*Rapper Ja Rule performed at halftime of the Wolves’ loss at Milwaukee on Saturday, and by all accounts there were some problems with his set.
It prompted the Timberwolves’ official account to tweak Ja Rule with a tweet about being “hustled, scammed and bamboozled” – a nod to the rapper’s tweet last month over his involvement in the notorious Fyre Festival. (The Wolves’ tweet even copied his misuse of “lead,” which should be led).
Still following? Good, because Ja Rule noticed the Wolves’ tweet — which has more than 20,000 likes as of Monday — and didn’t appreciate the Fyre burn. He replied: “You just jinx yourself talking to the GOD this way… your CURSED NOW!!! You won’t win a championship for the next 30 years… AND KAT IS LEAVING!!! Apologize and I’ll lift the CURSE!!! kiss of death …”
This right here is a good old-fashioned beef!
If he’s trying to curse the Wolves, though, he needs to get in line. Whatever he’s trying to do to the Wolves over the next 30 years can’t be much worse than what happened in the first 30 years.
And maybe, just maybe, whatever curse Ja Rule is trying to put on the franchise will cancel out all the other curses and lead to a championship?
*Normally stoic dads across Twins territory are likely shedding tears today after news emerged that their scrappy hero, Zack Granite, has been designated for assignment to make room for Marwin Gonzalez.
Granite, who strung together a nine-game hitting streak in July 2017 and temporarily made some people lose their faculties and declare they’d rather keep him and trade Byron Buxton, posted a .237 batting average and .611 OPS in 93 at bats that season, his only taste of big league action. He had a very poor 2018 season at Rochester, and now this.
He has some useful skills and seems like a good guy, so hopefully he catches on somewhere else and gives dads in a new market a chance to swoon over solid singles.
*Did you see Lynx coach Cheryl Reeve in the Serena Williams-led Nike advertisement that debuted during the Oscars? If you missed it, here it is (Reeve comes in around the 30 second mark):
*The Yankees locked up former Twins outfielder Aaron Hicks on a seven-year, $70 million contract.
*I don’t know a whole lot about Ryan Donato yet, but the new Wild dude can snipe. That’s a lot of surprising power on Sunday’s game-winner.