In Ginger Feiock's first photograph of her husband, Arlo, he's an eighth-grader with a paper heart bearing their initials pinned to his shirt. The sweethearts went on to be homecoming queen and king at their South Dakota high school before heading off to the same college and marrying after graduation.
Six decades after becoming Arlo's bride, Ginger assumed a new role. In 2018, he was diagnosed with dementia and she became his caregiver.
"My goodness, I was not prepared for this," she said. "I knew nothing about this disease and the adjustments you have to make as it progresses."
To be closer to their daughter, the couple, both 83, moved 90 miles across northern Minnesota from Bemidji to Thief River Falls in February. One month later Ginger began isolating with a partner whose needs she doesn't always understand.
"It's a challenge," she sighed. "I love to quilt and anticipated joining a quilting group. We can't go to church, which is important to us. My husband shadows me and needs my attention."
Feiock found guidance, community and relief in the virtual world. She connected with the Caregiver Support & Respite program offered in about half of the state's rural counties through Lutheran Social Service of Minnesota (LSS).
Before COVID-19, the program offered face-to-face coaching, classes and support groups for family caregivers for those living with memory loss. During the pandemic, the menu of offerings has shifted online.
Many older caregivers lack technical skills or computers, so they're lent tablets and given training to use them. Caregivers who started logging in for appointments with social workers or to attend online peer gatherings are now tapping their tablets to make other social connections.
