Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan may actually be mirror images in the Celebrity Consequences universe - one skates, the other goes to jail. One has money for no reason, the other's broke. One was awarded the Nobel prize for literature, the other lost the Booker Prize for a highly regarded collection of sonnets. (Just seeing if you're paying attention, or you just jumped to the quote.) Now it seems they might be even in the lawsuit department. Lohan settled a $100 meeeeelion suit against E-Trade, for airing commercials she says were intended to exploit her celebrity status. She probably got something out of it, if only some go-away money.

Now Paris has won a lawsuit. She sued Hallmark.

More here. There are two points here: since Hallmark said the greeting card had a "transformative" use, it might mean they didn't quote her catchphrase exactly, but used some sort of parodic version.This is not good for parody and the future of comedy. Expect people to face charges under the new Paris Hilton Law. Great.

Two: I don't know how she managed to trademark something as simple and stupid as "that's hot," but it's possible she's working on a follow-up. So far she has the "That's" part pretty much finished, and now she's working on the second half. It's harder than you think! Anyway she has a "c" and maybe an "o," but after that, it just trails off. Well, for the next few months she's going to be trying out some z's and x's and those other, y'know, weird letters no one uses. They're ready for a revival.