When Kathleen Kilian Dooley was diagnosed with cancer two years ago, she wrote her obituary.
"I really didn't want to read it [at the time]," said her daughter, Tracy Dooley of Coon Rapids. "But I did. … She was very particular about how things were and we probably wouldn't do it right."
So long before Kate Dooley of Inver Grove Heights died May 30 at age 72, she summed up her life in a sentence: "In the mid-70s, Kate realized she could not support her daughters from two marriages by waitressing and her art." So the working single mom went back to school to become a nurse, earning a degree in nursing and a master's in health services administration. Her determination left an indelible mark on three daughters who learned lessons in strength, perseverance and independence.
"She was going to prove that no matter what obstacles got in her way, she was going to make it and she wasn't going to need a man to do it," said daughter Rochelle Dooley of Mounds View.
It wasn't always easy, her daughters said. But she always said: "When you're down, you have to kick yourself in the butt and get right back up. You have to keep going."
Money was tight but "when we were young, we never knew it," said daughter Shannon Labore of Anoka. "She gave up so much for us. There was always food on the table. We always had clothes. She just always took very good care of us."
Sometimes the girls contributed their baby-sitting money to the food bill, and when Kate Dooley was an apartment-building caretaker, they cleaned hallways and mowed the lawn.
"I learned to cook basic meals — Tater Tot hot dish was the first thing I learned to make," said Tracy Dooley.