Chuck Shepherd
Bill Bailey, a former nine-year employee of the water-irrigation network near Grand Junction, Colo., was awarded unemployment benefits in December for being wrongfully fired.
The company claimed Bailey was insubordinate and that any complaints he had were merely because he is "too sensitive" to workplace "fun" and unable to "forgive and forget" his supervisors' team-building spirit.
According to an administrative law judge, the "fun" included, among other things, detonating unannounced, ear-splitting PVC "potato guns" (using golf balls and other items) on the job and Bailey's boss placing his own feces in a bag inside Bailey's lunch pail.
At one point in the hearing, during the boss's mirthful, carefree descriptions of the "fun," the judge felt the need to advise him of his Fifth Amendment right.
Following the judge's decision, Bailey's two supervisors resigned.
More layers to peeling
Sobeys, a Canadian supermarket chain, has recently been selling pre-cut avocado halves, sealed in plastic packages. Said a spokesman, the product "eliminates the guesswork … if you are not familiar with peeling and seeding a fresh avocado."
Also, recently, Whole Foods began selling peeled mandarin oranges, sealed in "recyclable" plastic, at $5.99 a pound (but withdrew the product in March, with an apology and promise to sell the oranges only in their "natural packaging: the peel").
Sensitive gator
Florida state officials have notified retired pro wrestler Mary Thorn of Lakeland that according to the law her pet alligator "Rambo," age 15, having grown to 6 feet in length, may no longer be kept at home unless she provides at least 2½ acres of roaming space.