NEANDERTHALS, THE DODO, AND ARON

My last day in Hue, I made, what appeared to me to be a smart decision. I planned to take the DMZ tour, then catch a bus heading North. The problem was, the tour would end at 5pm (it began at 7am) and then it would be a 12 hour bus ride straight to Hanoi. This did not sound fun so I looked for a halfway point where I could spend the night and break up the trip. I chose a little beach city called Dong Hui, which I was told was between 4-5 hours away. This seemed sensible. Right?

The tour was interesting although most of it was conducted from the bus as we passed various hills and battlegrounds that were important during the war. We did get to see Khe Sahn Marine Base which was the sight of a major siege. Again, even being in the actual location, it was still difficult to picture what went on there. I couldn't imagine a place that would have been more foreign to a young American soldier than this hill top, boxed-in by mountains, covered with thick jungle, in extreme heat and full of bitting insects. Even without the fighting, this would have been a difficult place to stay for any extended period of time.

Anyway, when the tour was over, I was dropped off at a bus depot (really a store front) where I caught my bus to Dong Hui. As usual, it was late. I got on at around 6pm; it was already starting to get dark.

Now I should point out that Dong Hui is not mentioned in my guidebook save for a small grey dot on its Vietnam map. Still, after each previous bus ride, I had been swarmed by tuk-tuk and moto drivers, all eager to escort me to their respective hotel or hostel. I assumed that the same would hold true in Dong Hui. Well... you know what the same about assumptions.

Right away I could sense something was different about this bus. The driver and his copilot were yelling at me as soon as I got on. I tried squeezing around the bleary-eyed passengers and their crying children as I looked for a place to sit. Unfortunately, for the first time in Asia, no one would let me sit next to them. Everyone looked exhausted and pissed off. people were sleeping in the aisles (this is actually not that uncommon in Vietnam), on the stairwells and in front of the non-functioning bathroom. Finally, a grumpy farmer pushed aside his unsold produce and benevolently motioned for me to see. I discovered though that he had an ulterior motive; he promptly feel asleep on my shoulder as the bus lurched forward into the night.

Now my thinking at this point was that the driver had seen my ticket, so hopefully he alert me when we reach Dong Hui, because otherwise I would have no way of recognizing my stop (After a while, all small towns in Asia start to look the same, especially at night.). Worst case, I figured, the driver would forget about me and I would end up making the burn all the way to Hanoi. It wouldn't be pleasant, but it would get me to where I needed to go. My eyes were getting heavy and when the driver turned the lights out, I was asleep almost instantly.

I remember coming to at some point; it seemed like a few hours had passed. I saw us blowing by a relatively large town at speed. I wondered groggily if this was my stop, but we were moving so fast and my mind so slow, that by the time the synapses had fired the lights of the town were already fading away. I went back to sleep figuring I would wake up in Hanoi.

To my credit, I didn't panic. Maybe it was exhaustion, but I remember consciously deciding that it would not help my situation if I freaked out. There was no one else there; I would have to figure this one out on my own.

My first objective was to find another human being and figure out where I was. I had a sense that I was close to some kind of settlement, but if I started walking in the wrong direction, it could be hours before I hit the next village. Suddenly, across the street, I heard voices. I wandered over and found, at the edge of the light, a dirt path that turned into a driveway. There was a house here! I could just make out the silhouettes of a couple whispering on a porch. I approached cautiously so as not to startle them. After a couple of steps, they stopped whispering so I could only assume tht they had seen me.

"Uhm, hi. What town is this?" I stammered. Nothing. I tried a few more basic sentences, but got no response until I uttered the word "hotel". A light bulb suddenly turned on and the man of the couple became really animated and kept repeating "hotel" back to me. He seemed really excited, then promptly disappeared behind the back of the house. I smiled at the woman, but figured there was no way for me to make this look normal. After what seemed like an eternity, the first guy returned with another man on a moto. He smiled and said "hotel". I responded "hotel". 'Here we go.', I thought. 'I'm putting all of my faith in this moto driver. My life is now in the hands of the comical churnings of the universe.' I eased on the back of his bike which groaned under the weight of my backpack. Clutching the cinching straps of my bag for balance we shot through the darkness. I had to keep my abs clenched in order to prevent us from falling. After twenty, we entered a town. The six-pack I didn't know I had was on fire, but afraid to let go of my abdominal grip, I pointed

"Hotel, hotel!" I said. The driver gestured that our destination was further ahead and kept going. My spidey-sense began to tingle. Clearly, we were going to a place where he would receive a commission, but in my predicament, i wasn't going to complain. We finally arrived at the correct hotel which, even at night, I could tell was not a quality establishment, but it had a roof and four walls and that was all I required. A family inside, the proprietors I assumed, were in the middle of a card game and did not seem to enjoy the interruption, although I'm sure I was their only customer that evening as nearly all the keys on the wall were in place. I was shown an overpriced room which I was too tired to haggle over. I dropped my stuff on the thinned sheets and realized I'd been holding my breath for the last hour. I felt the warm relief of adrenaline leaving the body wash through me. I had no water (having left it on the bus, those bastards!), no map and no real idea of where I was, but I had found shelter. I had made it. A little victory, but all my own. I was smiling like a Cheshire cat when the proprietor returned to the room with a towel. He handed it to me then started making a gesture toward his mouth. At first, I thought he was asking if I wanted something to eat. As if my senses had been returning one at a time, I suddenly realized that I was incredibly hungry and pointed to my stomach. He shook his head, and then through a series of adult gestures clarified that he was asking me if I wanted a prostitute. I sighed, shut the door on him, and went to sleep.