Gun control

Christmas Eve is a time of tradition and for many families that means at least one viewing of the 1983 comedy "A Christmas Story," which teaches that Thou Shalt Not Play With a Red Ryder Air Rifle, a commandment that just missed making Moses' top 10 list. The demand is so great that the film will air throughout the day, starting on the hour, every hour, on either TBS or TNT.

Playing with fire

If the idea of strangers singing carols at your doorstep isn't scary enough for you, take an eggnog break with a 96-hour marathon of movies featuring Godzilla, starting with "Gojira," in which the 400-foot-tall mutant dinosaur first makes his march toward Tokyo with a hunger for sushi. 5 a.m. El Rey Network

I got you, babes

GetTV grants our last-minute wish for something special with a 30-hour marathon of kitschy classics, kicking off with 1973's "The Christmas Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour," which includes a rendition of "O Holy Night," a number so corny that Paul Shaffer made his tribute to it a staple during his late-night stints. Toss in "Cannon" star William Conrad and you don't need no stinkin' Santa. Other specials that follow spotlight the spirits of Danny Kaye, Andy Williams and the Carpenters. 11 p.m. getTV

Neal Justin