As I pondered the coming folly, my dinky boat — stuffed to the gunwales with camping gear, fishing tackle, a cooler of food and my nervous dog, Percy — bobbed low in the harbor at Boom Island Park.
I had been mulling a fast and cheap overnight excursion for a couple of weeks before settling on a crackpot plan: I would seek out a quiet spot in the wilds right here in Minneapolis, where I would pitch my tent and spend a night under whatever stars were not utterly obscured by the big city light pollution.
When it comes to urban camping, of course, "quiet" is a relative term. What I was really looking for was a locale where I would not be molested by hoodlums, upright citizens or lawmen. I was particularly concerned about the later cohort because the authorities in most good-sized communities, including Minneapolis and its suburbs, frown upon camping within city limits.
While I wasn't sure where exactly to pitch my tent, I knew where I wanted to look: the 12-mile stretch of the Mississippi River between St. Anthony Falls in downtown Minneapolis to the Coon Rapids Dam. This is the mellowest run of the Mississippi in the Twin Cities, with a fraction of the pleasure boat and barge traffic found in St. Paul.
Those factors appealed to me because I prefer a measure of solitude when camping, even — and especially — when camping in the city. Also I had limited faith in my vessel (a recently acquired, leaky $400 boat) and my motor (a balky 15-horsepower Evinrude).
Despite lovely weather, the river was scarcely in use as I chugged to the north. Between the Plymouth Avenue Bridge and the Broadway Bridge, I came across the only moving vessel I would encounter: a speeding ski-boat with a trio of daredevils in tow.
Trolling farther upriver, I passed the stately but decaying and graffiti-adorned Northern Pacific Railroad Bridge, the oldest bridge above St. Anthony Falls. In its shadow, a brightly colored tent was barely visible amid thick vegetation. Three scruffy fellows — presumably fellow campers — were lounging along the shore, fishing poles propped up on Y-shaped sticks.
I waved cheerily, assuming these guys would take note of my camping gear, my fishing rods and my dog and recognize me as a kindred frontiersman. I was met with stone faces. Were they camping out of necessity, not novelty-seeking? Were they angry that my noisy little motor was scaring the fishes? Did they not care for my looks?