Ms. Row 8, Seat 19

Dear Ms. Row 8, Seat 19: Like all of us who came of age during the early 70s, I get that you know every lyric that follows "Stayed in bed all morning just to pass the time." Well, there was something wrong – there can be no denying – sitting next to you at the Carole King / James Taylor concert at Xcel Energy Center in Saint Paul. Since I didn't see your name listed with Ms. King and Mr. Taylor on my ticket, imagine my surprise when I learned, from the very first song, that you would be accompanying the Grammy award-winning performers on vocals – all night long. King and Taylor had three back-up singers on stage with them for much of the evening. They even introduced each one and had them take a bow. I noticed that Ms. King didn't announce in her full, rich voice: "And joining us from way up in the upper level, in row 8, seat 9, is 'Ms. Sing-A-Long With Every Tune." Perhaps it was an oversight on behalf of the two singers that I erroneously thought I was coming to hear. Surely it must have been, because even when the back-up singers left the stage and King or Taylor would take their individual turn in the spotlight, you were right there to turn a solo into a duet. And to turn their two-part harmony into something not quite so harmonious. I know, I know, Ms. King was encouraging audience participation. She would get to the chorus of "(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman" and thrust her microphone towards the audience. Or she would raise her arms up in the air, as though directing a chorus, and then wait for the 18,000 adoring fans to sing in unison. But did you notice that the rest of the audience stopped singing and let Ms. King continue with the song? We took our cues from the singer and sang along only when invited to do so. You, Ms. Row 8, Seat 19, sang every word of every verse. To take license with a lyric that you seem to know all to well, Lord, your singing last night made me feel so tired. I understand, from the number of times you told your companion, how excited you were to be seeing your favorite singers for the first time. It's just that I shelled out a lot of money to hear Carole King and James Taylor. Don't take this the wrong way, but until you've sold millions of albums, written hundreds of chart-topping songs, and been voted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, I probably am not going to battle traffic, drive across the river, pay for parking and a $12 beer to listen to your cover versions of other people's songs. At future concerts I would rather sit somewhere away from you. "So Far Away."