Q I have postpartum depression pretty bad, and I feel as if my husband thinks I'm faking it. How can I help him understand that I seriously need his help?
A Brava to you. Most women who have postpartum depression don't get the help they need, often because they're embarrassed to ask for it. Fortunately for you, your husband and your baby, you're not most women. So start by showing your husband this column -- I hope he'll get the hint.
Almost all new moms go through the "baby blues" -- mild sadness, mood swings, anxiety, weepiness, loss of sleep and appetite, and inability to make decisions. Most of the time, the symptoms go away within a few weeks or a month.
Ten to 20 percent of moms develop actual "postpartum depression." The symptoms are similar, but more serious: major appetite changes, an inability to take pleasure in the baby or life in general, unexplained episodes of crying, extreme feelings of anxiety or fear, decreased sex drive, difficulty sleeping and feelings of guilt or shame.
At the least, your husband should be helping you eat right and exercise. He also needs to be taking on more of the baby-related work and making sure you get enough sleep.
Untreated, symptoms of postpartum depression can last for years. Research shows that babies of depressed mothers reach certain developmental milestones later than other babies. They also are more likely to become depressed themselves. The more he helps you, the more he's helping your baby -- and the more he's helping himself by getting much-needed practice.
Armin Brott is the author of "The Military Father" and "The Expectant Father." Send him e-mail at armin@askmrdad.com.
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