There will be a time, many times actually, when a friend, co-worker or casual acquaintance will face the death of a loved one.
There will be mourning. There might be a visitation or memorial service, perhaps reflecting religious, family, cultural and regional traditions.
You will wonder whether to attend one of these social gatherings -- or you should -- whether the deceased is a cousin you haven't seen in five years or a co-worker's parent whom you've never met.
"If it was your mother's [service], would you expect to see your co-workers? If you can answer 'yes' to that question, then you should go," said funeral director James Olson, a spokesman for the National Funeral Directors Association and owner of the Lippert-Olson Funeral Home in Sheboygan, Wis.
Such gatherings "are about the living and giving them a chance to express their grief -- or it may be an expression of joy for a life well lived," he said. "For the person who is mourning, it is very important to know there are people who support them. But it also gives the greater community an opportunity to share in that grief."
Olson answered a few more questions:
Do I have to dress up? "Out of respect for the family, put a little effort into getting ready," he said, and wear something more dressy than shorts and a T-shirt.
What do I do at the gathering? "Sign the guest book to let them know you're there," he said. "Then wait in line and express your condolences. You don't have to stay, [but showing up] at least lets the family know you were thinking about them in their time of need."
