'Mother for all seasons' doesn't have a minute for media

If you're Michael Phelps' mom, there are ways to avoid new embarrassing questions such as: Is your son going to ditch strippers for beauty pageant contestants?

You enjoy an afternoon tea that was an auction item for the Groves Academy scholarship gala that brought you to Minnesota. You speak to teachers and students at Groves Academy. Then you remain sequestered in your hotel room until it's time to give a speech at the Minneapolis Depot gala, which reportedly raised more than $500,000. Perhaps I misunderstood, but I thought there was to be some media availability for Debbie Phelps, a longtime principal and more recently memoirist of "A Mother for All Seasons" when she flew in for the Groves Academy appearances.

Of course, certain people might have inquired about gossip that her son, the most gold-medal-decorated Olympian of all time, was hanging out with Carrie Prejean, who represented California at the 2009 Miss USA contest, and, of course, Perez Hilton's fave. Despite a website quoting Prejean's grandmother as a source on the fling and Carrie's coy response to media regarding the gossip, Michael told Us magazine: "I'm not dating anybody. My private life stays private."

Wish that were true. Radar.com and others are making a cottage industry out of photos of the Olympian enjoying strippers. The only good thing about his enjoyment of strippers is that they are usually a legal pastime, unlike some things Mike's been photographed doing. When is he going to realize that these endless, well-documented Olympian displays of testosterone poisoning might be a bit embarrassing to his mom?

Caught on camera Former Twin Cities television meteorologist Paul Douglas, founder of weathernation.net, appeared struck by the light before he tried to hide from my video camera at the Groves Academy gala. He was the emcee. At startribune.com/video, you can see me playing in his hair, and if you listen closely you'll hear the sound of me planting a kiss on his forehead.

The real video scene stealer is Angie Wicka, all-around character and former model who seems to have gotten her body back! Seeing her in the distance, a place where my vision has recently declined, I thought, Who is that woman in a miniskirt that's too short? As she walked closer I could see it was the outrageously funny woman considered half of the Twin Cities' version of Posh & Beck. Angie was with her husband, Tom Wicka, a businessman and fashion icon in his own right. The Wickas were rolling with Lysa and Vince Flynn, thriller author.

At the end of the video Angie made a daring -- considering the brevity of her evening attire -- equine-esque kick at the camera. Despite her outfit being a tad short on fabric for my taste, Angie looked ab fab from her stomach to her legs.

She's not gonna do that, but you will get your $20 worth at the native Minnesotan's "The First 100 Days: Obama's and Mine." While taping "Cyber Jabber," a new startribune.com video feature to be posted today, Winstead was ginning up to rough up President Obama, U.S. Rep. Michele Bachmann and the guy I was sad to see being referred to in the media as former Sen. Norm Coleman (even though he was much better about returning my calls before catching Potomac Fever). Coleman's not exactly looking as much like a dignified statesman as Al Gore did a few election cycles ago.

Goodbye, Golden Girl In 2002 I was roaming the streets of Toronto with Night Scrawler, the Sun's gossip columnist, who took me to a private party for Bea Arthur, who was in Canada performing "Just Between Friends."

Since Arthur had fallen off a stage at the Guthrie while doing that show here, I asked her about the mishap. "What an embarrassment that was!" Arthur said in that unforgettable voice.

Although Arthur was on because she was out in public, you could see that other side of her when she interacted with people. That was her shy side. That part of her that was perfectly comfortable, and in fact preferred, not calling attention to her celebrity. That private side of her that left instructions that there be no memorial service to mark her passing. Thank you, Miss Arthur, for being a great TV and stage friend.