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Minnesota has much of the infrastructure needed to eliminate maternal suicide — a leading cause of maternal mortality, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. But my experience as both a survivor and a health care insider showed me that simply having pieces of a puzzle isn’t enough, and that without real public pressure, our health care leaders will continue to decline to go the final mile.
I have a master’s in health care administration from the University of Minnesota, and my husband is a resident physician. If anyone is equipped to navigate the complex health care system, we are. But when our son was born in 2023, I developed severe postpartum anxiety that made it nearly impossible to eat, sleep or sit still. That anxiety led to depression, and before long I was suicidal.
We struggled to find help. I saw several doctors and took the standard screening questionnaires. I was told it would take months to get in with a therapist. I was given a crisis line number that wasn’t actually a crisis line. Eventually, I went to the ER and spent a few nights in a general inpatient psychiatry unit, separated from my husband and our newborn baby.
Each dead end reinforced the belief that I was alone, that nobody cared, or that there was nothing anyone could do. Being separated from my family took away the only things that brought me any relief — being with my husband and holding my baby.
In the end, I got lucky. Through desperate late-night internet searching, my family found Hennepin Healthcare’s Mother-Baby program, one of only a handful of its kind in the country. That was a portal to what felt like an underground world of maternal mental health treatment — one that ultimately saved my life.
At the time, I was working in administration for one of the large health care systems in our state — the same one where I had first sought care and failed to find it. When I returned to work, I was determined to make it easier for the next new mom in crisis to get help.