They're not words you expect to hear straightaway about a marathon solo crossing by kayak of a Great Lake.
Yet Mike Stout of Prior Lake insists solitude and serenity propelled him more than any wind across Lake Michigan from west to east.
Stout launched his 17-foot Quest sea kayak just before 8:30 a.m. July 24 within view of the historic Rawley Point Lighthouse near Two Rivers, Wis., that warned mariners a century and more ago. About 56 miles and 16½ hours later — several hours more than planned — he landed on the sandy Michigan shore, north of Ludington.
If the word "fear" entered his mind that long day and night as his shoulders ached and shifting winds and endless waves threw him off course, he'd learned by then to push back the dark. It was his second time crossing Lake Michigan (and third of a Great Lake).
"If you can't compartmentalize the risk and block out the fears, you're vulnerable," said Stout, 59. "You're likely to fail."
Another kayaker, Haris Subacius, was one of a group of four who crossed the lake in 2010 when they were members of the Chicago Area Sea Kayakers Association. Like the water, all sorts of expected challenges well up, he said. It's the unknowns that are part of the adventure's psychic hold.
"There are so many reasons not to do it, and no one can quite name the reason to do it. It's long, it's tedious, it's hard work and uncomfortable, it's monotonous, it's risky," Subacius said. "I did it because the opportunity was there and I was curious about what it would be like. ... Doing it solo is a whole different level."
Connected to water
The seed of Stout's current outdoors life sprouted when he was young, growing up in the Grand Rapids, Mich., suburb of Comstock Park, where he first put a paddle to water on the Grand River. Lake Michigan and its beaches and dunes were close, and there was a family place on Lake Huron, too. "I had a respectful fear of the big lakes," he said.