Almost three months later a ripple of grief, a current of shock, still catches him. Rob Refsnyder will be warming up before a game and pass Mike Bell's No. 36 jersey hanging in the Twins dugout. Just that image will break his routine, forcing him to pause and remember.
"He's not here anymore," Refsnyder will realize again and again. "It hits you at unexpected times."
Bell, the Twins bench coach, died March 26 from kidney cancer at 46 years old, only three months from his diagnosis. His brother, David, manages the Cincinnati Reds, who are at Target Field for a two-game series starting Monday.
The Twins began the regular season not even a week after Mike Bell's death, without the man who had already made an enduring impact on the team he had only known for a year.
While it's been six months since Bell shared his illness, which resulted in a February surgery to remove a kidney and parts of his liver, those who knew him are still reeling. A 162-game season doesn't leave much time for processing emotions, though in some ways it has been a comforting distraction from an overwhelming reality.
"It almost doesn't seem real, that it played out the way that it did," Twins manager Rocco Baldelli said. "There was a period of time where it almost felt like you couldn't keep up with what was happening, that your mind couldn't keep up with understanding how it was playing out because it played out very, very, very fast. You almost don't have time to really even comprehend what's happening."
That has left Baldelli and others hoping they had said everything they had wanted to say, told Bell exactly what he meant to them before the opportunity was gone forever. Refsnyder keeps thinking back to the offseason, how he and Bell were supposed to meet for coffee only for Bell to keep pushing it off because he didn't feel well.
Refsnyder signed a minor league contract with the Twins in late 2020 because of Bell, whom he first knew as the Arizona Diamondbacks vice president of player development. Bell won Refsnyder's respect and loyalty in the 2019 season when the journeyman found himself struggling for playing time with Arizona's Class AAA team. He was traded to Cincinnati and played for Class AAA Louisville.