Fair warning: we're coming up on the anniversary of Michael Jackson's death from a physician-administered overdose, and that means Hagiography A Go-Go for the next five days. For example: Michael Jackson would be a billionaire if he'd lived - but he would have also had to die to get the money.

It's a ten-record deal that includes hours of unreleased material. But what of the children? Everyone wants to know when we can start hounding them, you know:

It had better be a school with free-roaming monkeys and a headmaster who dresses up as Peter Pan, sleeps in a hyperbaric chamber and talks in a whispery giggle, or some adjustment may be required. Unless the kids have been instructed by stern English teachers who took the job on the condition they be allowed to give the kids a proper education, I have the feeling they were brought up to believe the Constitution was written by Tinkerbell, and Elizabeth Taylor was the model for the Statue of Liberty.