Meltdown management

Ever wonder what to do when someone's kid has a tantrum at the store? Or a parent explodes? An unusual Ramsey County project has trained hundreds on how to defuse tense situations.

April 26, 2008 at 4:18AM
Two-year-old Drake Johnsrud, who had been having his face painted, loudly expressed his displeasure at having to leave the Minnesota Children's Museum on Sunday before he was ready. Dad Matt held him as a museum staffer, not pictured here, helped calm him down.
Two-year-old Drake Johnsrud, who had been having his face painted, loudly expressed his displeasure at having to leave the Minnesota Children’s Museum on Sunday before he was ready. Dad Matt held him as a museum staffer, not pictured here, helped calm him down. (Stan Schmidt — Star Tribune/The Minnesota Star Tribune)

With a fresh set of stitches on his lip from a recent fall and a grimace on his face, little Drake Johnsrud was wiped out from a morning at Minnesota Children's Museum and ready for a meltdown.

A museum "funstigator" made a beeline toward him in the lobby, blowing bubbles overhead and using a friendly dog hand puppet to distract him. Drake's flushed face relaxed. So did his parents, who were able to walk out of the museum without incident.

The fact that Drake's meltdown never escalated is not by chance. The staff at the Children's Museum are among hundreds of frontline workers at Ramsey County hospitals, libraries, schools and churches who have been trained through an unusual project designed to defuse parent-child tensions and prevent child abuse.

Called the Wakanheza Project, it's the only such initiative in Minnesota and is rare nationally, said Rob Fulton, director of Ramsey County Public Health Department, which oversees the project. It's been quietly spreading throughout Ramsey County for three years, and it's gaining momentum.

The Children's Museum, which won a national award for its efforts, is now training museum leaders nationally on their techniques. Human service organizations in Hennepin and Wright counties are using the strategies. Wakanheza was named a model project this spring by the Minnesota Children's Defense Fund. And it was the subject of a public television special last month.

The project's goal is broader than soothing grouchy kids. It aims to soothe explosive parents as well, and to help bystanders overcome their reluctance to "get involved."

"The premise is, if you can stop public issues, it can affect what happens at home," said Don Gault, who coordinates the program for Ramsey County.

Drake's parents, Delana and Matt Johnsrud from Duluth, were impressed with their encounter with Wakanheza.

"My son obviously took to it," Delana Johnsrud said, laughing. "It makes your day a little easier, especially when you have your hands full with three kids."

Deceptively simple

Wakanheza is deceptively simple. It teaches the fine art of distraction, as in calming children who otherwise may be screaming their lungs out in the grocery store check-out line. It also trains them to calm enraged parents who end up shouting or shoving their unruly kids -- or worse.

At a training session at the Rondo Community Outreach Library in St. Paul last week, librarians were handed a wallet-sized card that summarized the Wakanheza principles: Distract and redirect. Offer assurance. Show empathy. Avoid judging.

Librarian Richard McLarn shared his technique for moving frazzled parents with antsy kids through the self-check-out line. "I tell the kids that the red line that scans the bar codes are laser beams," he said with a smile. The kids become calm and captivated.

But Wakanheza principles aren't just cute diversions, said Cynthia Hassan, who fields child protection calls in Ramsey County. She recounted an experience she'd had at Target, with a flustered young parent and an out-of-control child.

"The mom was just screaming at the child, snatching his arms and yanking," she recalled. "Everyone was watching. I walked over in a calm voice and said, 'I have a child her age. It's hard to control them.' And I asked a simple question, like 'What are you shopping for?"'

Just having someone to talk to helped the tensions dissipate, said Hassan, who later handed the young woman her business card to use if she ever needed more assistance.

Given that child protection services have limited funding, and its focus is limited to the most egregious types of abuse, Wakanheza fills an important role in abuse prevention, said Monty Martin, director of Ramsey County Human Services.

"This gets to people before they reach circumstances where they require our attention," Martin said.

Shaping buildings

The techniques can be used by institutions, too. A stroll through Rondo Library, for example, showed how Wakanheza was incorporated into the building layout. It now has "family Internet stations" exclusively for parents with kids. There's a seat next to the parent's computer for the tykes to color and draw -- crayons and paper supplied in little buckets by the library. And the computers are situated a stone's throw from the children's book section.

"This works great," said Dezzie Washington, a young mother checking out job sites on the Internet last week, while her daughter sat at her side with a stack of crayons. "We've been coming here almost every day."

Meanwhile, staff and volunteers at Immanuel Lutheran Church in St. Paul received training about two years ago, during a time of remodeling. Thanks to the training, the church added a pint-sized play area to the social hall, activity bags for kids to use during services, and added an extra set of short railings next to the staircases to prevent stumbling and grumbling.

Church member Deb Ahlquist is planning to bring training to organizations and businesses in her Midway neighborhood. Said Ahlquist: "This comes naturally to some people, but not for everyone."

Jean Hopfensperger • 651-298-1553

An unhappy Drake Johnsrud
An unhappy Drake Johnsrud (Star Tribune/The Minnesota Star Tribune)
Children's Museum staffer Regina Santiago, right, blew bubbles toward Drake Johnsrud to help him settle down. The museum is now training museum leaders nationally in the technique.
Children’s Museum staffer Regina Santiago, right, blew bubbles toward Drake Johnsrud to help him settle down. The museum is now training museum leaders nationally in the technique. (Star Tribune/The Minnesota Star Tribune)

about the writer

Jean Hopfensperger

Reporter

Jean Hopfensperger is the religion, faith and values reporter for the Star Tribune. She focuses largely on religious trends shaping Minnesota and the nation. 

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