1. Patriots (7-0): Give ESPN credit for at least trying to sell Monday night’s Jets game as not horribly unwatchable.
2. Saints (6-1): Man, if only Teddy Bridgewater had started from Week 1, the Saints would be 7-0.
3. 49ers (6-0): Jimmy Garoppolo finally has 16 starts. He’s 14-2.
4. Bills (5-1): They move to 5-1 after trailing the Dolphins at halftime at home.
5. Colts (4-2): Jacoby Brissett: 326 yards, four TDs, no picks. Frank Reich: Don’t go handing Sean Payton NFL Coach of the Year just yet.
6. Packers (6-1): Matt LaFleur: Hey, whaddabout me as coach of the year?”
7. Ravens (5-2): John Harbaugh: Hel-low! I lost basically my entire No. 1-ranked defense in the offseason. How ’bout a little COTY love?
8. Chiefs (5-2): Patrick Mahomes to Matt Moore. Ouch. Unless you’re one of K.C.’s next three foes.
9. Vikings (5-2): Riding a three-game winning streak, Kirk Cousins officially has risen to a .500 quarterback at 39-39-2.
10. Seahawks (5-2): Without left tackle Duane Brown, Russell Wilson completes fewer than 50 percent of his passes for the first time in two years.
11. Panthers (4-2): If only Kyle Allen had started from Week 1, he would be 6-0 and a half-game behind Teddy in the NFC South.
12. Texans (4-3): Deshaun Watson throws two picks, can’t keep pace with Brissett.
13. Rams (4-3): Nothing says relief like F-A-L-C-O-N-S.
14. Cowboys (4-3): Then again, there’s a lot of relief in N-F-C E-A-S-T. Right, Mr. Garrett?
15. Raiders (3-3): Since joining the league in 2014, Derek Carr has a league-leading 23 lost fumbles.
16. Bears (3-3): Mitchell Mania officially not a thing. In Sunday’s first 10 possessions, he had two drives lasting longer than four plays.
17. Cardinals (3-3-1): Former Sooner Kyler Murray stays undefeated against FCS opponents after three-week sweep of Bengals, Falcons and Giants.
18. Lions (2-3-1): Detroit is better than this, but defensive-minded head coaches really shouldn’t lose by 12 when they score 30.
19. Eagles (3-4): Two possessions, two turnovers, two touchdowns allowed. A recipe for Doug Pederson not looking like a genius.
20. Jaguars (3-4): One touchdown in six trips to the red zone. Fortunately, they played the Bengals.
21. Browns (2-4): The Shield survived Week 7 without showing the Browns in prime time.
22. Jets (1-5): What’s worse than mono? A 3.6 passer rating against the Patriots in prime time.
23. Steelers (2-4): Still strange seeing Pittsburgh 28th in passing at 200 yards a game.
24. Titans (3-4): Marcus Mariota, the second overall pick in 2015, takes a seat as Tennessee wins.
25. Buccaneers (2-4): How long before Jameis Winston, the first overall pick in 2015, takes his seat?
26. Broncos (2-5): Is Vic Fangio’s decision to leave Chicago for Denver reviewable?
27. Giants (2-5): Pat Shurmur now trailing Fangio in NFL Coach of the Year race.
28. Chargers (2-5): They do rank No. 1 in biggest disappointment.
29. Redskins (1-6): Yeah, the weather was bad. But 12 passes? In a 9-0 loss?
30. Falcons (1-6): How can things get any worse for Dan Quinn? Easy. Lose Matt Ryan.
31. Bengals (0-7): Zac Taylor starts 0-7, still trails Hue Jackson by three in number of wins as an AFC North coach.
32. Dolphins (0-6): Tankers being outscored by a mere 24.7 points. Next worst differential: 15.5.