1. Patriots (5-0)

Not even a shaky kicker can make Bill Belichick wobble.

2. 49ers (4-0)

The next new best NFC team — for now — brought an intensity that the visiting Browns had no shot of matching Monday night.

3. Saints (4-1)

Teddy lets ’er rip while improving to 3-0 in place of Brees.

4. Bills (4-1)

Five games and they still haven’t allowed more than 17 points.

5. Seahawks (4-1)

Russell Wilson going for first 5-1 start since Seattle won the Super Bowl during the ’13 season.

6. Colts (3-2)

So you lose at home to the Raiders, knock me out of my survivor pool and then win at Kansas City on Monday Night Football?

7. Chiefs (4-1)

It took 26 starts for Patrick Mahomes to put up fewer than 26 points in an NFL game.

8. Packers (4-1)

Aaron Jones had 182 of the 335 yards and a franchise-record four TDs at Dallas.


9. Lions (2-1-1)

Should be well-rested for that Monday nighter at Green Bay.

10. Cowboys (3-2)

Vaunted O-line crumbling because of injuries.

11. Eagles (3-2)

In its past two trips to the Upper Midwest, Philly has beaten Aaron Rodgers in GB and Tom Brady in MSP. Next up: Kirk Cousins.

12. Vikings (3-2)

Nothing helps a good team feel better than facing a bad Giants team.

13. Raiders (3-2)

Jon Gruden would like it noted for the record that Khalil Mack had zero sacks during that 97-yard game-winning drive.

14. Bears (3-2)

Vikings fans would like it noted that Bears backup quarterbacks always play lousy the week after beating the Vikings.

15. Rams (3-2)

Los Angeles, this is your Week 6 wake-up call. Hello? Anybody home?

16. Panthers (3-2)

Ho-hum. Christian McCaffrey has 237 yards, three TDs from scrimmage.


17. Browns (2-3)

Baker looked more like a rookie Monday than he did when he was an actual rookie (see 13.4 passer rating).

18. Ravens (3-2)

Lamar Jackson sacked five times, picked three and … beats Pittsburgh.

19. Texans (3-2)

Former Falcons ball-boy Deshaun Watson throws for a career-high 426 yards in route of Atlanta.

20. Buccaneers (2-3)

Jameis Winston can’t upset the Saints from the seat of his pants.

21. Jaguars (2-3)

Will Minshew Mania send Nick Foles packing again?

22. Titans (2-3)

Six three-and-outs and four missed field-goal attempts. Is that bad?

23. Broncos (1-4)

Vic Fangio gets first win before first firing.

24. Chargers (2-3)

Apparently, Melvin Gordon ended his holdout. The Broncos didn’t notice.

25. Giants (2-3)

Danny Dimes < Danielle Dollars.


26. Cardinals (1-3-1)

They put up 514 yards while reaching the end zone only twice.

27. Steelers (1-4)

From Big Ben to little Samford’s undrafted Delvin Hodges in one month. Ouch.

28. Falcons (1-4)

They gave up 217 yards, three touchdowns and 14 catches to a Houston receiver not named DeAndre Hopkins.

29. Bengals (0-5)

So, Zac, you wanted to be an NFL head coach, eh?

30. Jets (0-4)

Luke Falk was sacked 10 times, intercepted twice, lost two fumbles and posted 120 yards. Other than that …

31. Dolphins (0-4)

No, Tankers, you cannot count the bye as your draft-clinching 17th loss.

32. Redskins (0-5)

Fired employee Jay Gruden has sub-. 500 record since 2014. Working employer/owner Daniel Snyder has sub-. 500 record since 1999. It’s good to be the king.