Mark Craig's Week 17 picks

It's a good thing we handed out our Christmas presents a week early. The Panthers liked their Johnny Manziel chew toy and the Eagles will have an extra week to heal after tripping over their Redskins doormat and fracturing Chip Kelly's genius bone. Now, we move on to our New Year's resolutions:

CHI +6 at MIN

Vikings 28, Bears 21

The Bears want to quit smoking, lose weight and stop giving $126 million to quarterbacks with one playoff win.

CIN +3½ at PIT

Steelers by 7

The Bengals want to be less patient and more certain about giving $115 million to a QB with fewer playoff wins than Jay Cutler.

Packers by 3

The Lions and the Democratic Party vow to eventually win a competition held in Wisconsin.

JAX +9½ at HOU

Texans by 7

Sorry, J.J., but MVPs don't go to even great defensive players on 8-7 teams.

Colts by 3

The Colts would like enough amnesia to forget their 5-5 record outside the AFC South.

CLE +9 at BAL

Ravens by 14

Mike Pettine vows to experience a possible franchise-record 365th day on the job as Browns coach.

Patriots by 7

Buffalo would like to be better than New England by the time Bill Belichick turns 70 and/or Tom Brady turns 50.

NYJ +6 at MIA

Dolphins by 10

Rex Ryan wants to shed more weight, starting with his title of Jets head coach.

Chargers by 6

Philip Rivers wants a long, happy retirement ASAP. For Peyton Manning.

PHI +2 ½ at NYG

Eagles by 6

Chip Kelly wants even more offensive snaps, preferably ones that don't result in a league-high 35 turnovers.

Cowboys by 14

The Cowboys want to experience faith in what they can't humanly comprehend, starting with Tony Romo in the postseason.

NO -4 at TB

Buccaneers by 7

To those who get too excited about the offseason: ability to remember that Tampa Bay won free agency in 2014.

Seahawks by 21

Percy Harvin wants serenity, starting with a quiet place to watch Seattle defend its Super Bowl title.

ARI +6 at SF

49ers by 3

San Francisco wants enough spin to make it sound like dumping Jim Harbaugh is a good thing.

Broncos by 17

Oakland wants to be more thankful, starting with the delay in Roger Goodell's plans for an 18-game season.

Panthers +3½ at Falcons

Panthers 24, Falcons 17

The winner asks for the patience not to fire its head coach before next week's playoff game.

Last week/overall: 10-5/ 134-86-1

vs. spread: 12-3/ 116-105

Vikings picks: 11-4