Words you never thought you'd type: Vikings offense ranks six spots higher (ninth) than Vikings defense (15th).
1. Ravens (8-2)
Houston, you had a problem. A Lamarplem.
2. Patriots (9-1)
Tom Brady has a bad day, so Julian Edelman throws what holds up as the game-winning touchdown pass. Ho-hum.
3. Seahawks (8-2)
Is there one Vikings fan left on earth who hasn't surrendered the Week 13 game in Seattle?
4. 49ers (9-1)
First three drives versus Arizona = 2 yards. Rest of the game = 424 yards and four TDs for Jimmy G.
5. Packers (8-2)
Prime-time trip to Frisco doesn't have to be so bad (See: Seattle, Nov. 11).
6. Saints (8-2)
The Saints are good. Again. So is Michael Thomas, the first player in NFL history to reach 90 catches in 10 games.
7. Chiefs (7-4)
The run defense is still shaky. But four picks of Philip Rivers is enough to get back on track.
8. Vikings (8-3)
Words you never thought you'd type: Vikings offense ranks six spots higher (ninth) than Vikings defense (15th).
9. Texans (6-4)
Sacked seven times, Houston QBs found out there's more to Baltimore than Lamar.
10. Rams (6-4)
Sean McVay had twice as many punts (six) as third-down conversions (three). But he played Da Bears.
11. Titans (5-5)
They're either a really good bad team or a really bad good team.
12. Eagles (5-5)
See No. 11.
13. Raiders (6-4)
Jon Gruden winning games and holding two of the top 19 picks in next year's draft. Thank you, Chicago.
14. Bills (7-3)
Josh Allen accounts for four TDs, including three passing. But it was in Miami.
15. Cowboys (6-4)
Dak Prescott wins at Detroit with three TDs, no turnovers and his fourth 400-yard passing game of the season.
16. Colts (6-4)
Want to help Jacoby Brissett? Run through the Jaguars for 264 yards.
17. Falcons (3-7)
Back-to-back road wins while holding the Saints and Panthers to 12 points? Has Atlanta finally woken up from Super Bowl LI?
18. Browns (4-6)
Trivia Time: Who coached the inmates' team on the Longest Yard? Bzzz. Sorry, it was Nate Scarboro. Not Freddie Kitchens.
19. Steelers (5-5)
Dear, Mason. Myles got what he deserved. But, next time, don't fist fight defensive ends.
20. Panthers (5-5)
Want to lose a third game in four weeks? Have six first-half drives end in a punt or a pick.
21. Chargers (4-7)
Not that Vikings fans need more to fret about on Dec. 15, but the Chargers aren't that good, but they also aren't that bad.
22. Jaguars (4-6)
Down 10-7 at halftime, John DeFilippo calls 16 passes, five runs in the third quarter. Jags lose by 20 with 47 passes, 9 runs.
23. Broncos (3-7)
Held Vikings to four first downs in the first half and four touchdowns in the second half.
24. Bears (4-6)
The 2020 pick that Mitch doubters covet is currently 13th overall. And, oh yeah, it's also in Gruden's back pocket.
25. Jets (3-7)
The ghost Sam Darnold saw last week came from Redskins present.
26. Dolphins (2-8)
FitzMagic works a lot better when it's not sacked seven times.
27. Buccaneers (3-7)
Offenses in general work a lot better when Jameis doesn't lead the league with 18 picks.
28. Cardinals (3-7-1)
Arizona isn't ready for prime time, but Kyler Murray is a handful. Just ask the 49ers.
29. Lions (3-6-1)
Another lost season limps toward another good reason for the country not to take a noontime nap on Thanksgiving.
30. Giants (2-8)
Who cares? Next.
31. Redskins (1-9)
Hey, at least they ended that 16-quarter streak without a touchdown!
32. Bengals (0-10)
Hey, at least they avoided their seventh double-digit loss of the season!
It’s too soon to tell how much the immigration crackdown is to blame.
