Madeline Levine's tips for redefining success

• Consider the qualities that you hope your children have when they leave the nest. Resist parent peer pressure and trust your gut.

• Maintain playtime, downtime and family time. Avoid overscheduling.

• Love your children unconditionally. Make sure they know that they are loved for who they are, not only for how well they perform.

• Encourage appropriate risk-taking and let kids make mistakes. When possible, let kids play and work on their own.

• Set limits on TV, screen-based games, instant messages and computer use. An hour or less per day is a good starting point.

• Ease performance pressure. Instead of "How did you do on the test?" ask "How did the day go?"

• Debunk college myths. Make sure your children understand that there are many paths to success after high school.