Lest you think taking your shoes off to go through airport security checkpoints is a big, fat pain, consider what Transportation Security officers found hidden in a teenager's sneaker at an airport in New York.

An X-ray that didn't look quite right prompted officers to take a closer look at the tongue of the boy's shoe. It seems he'd cut it and sewn it back together to hide a 2-inch blade. The purpose of the air-bound knife? To protect the kid when he goes to the mall, he told officers.

That's gotta sting

Imagine the surprise of TSA officers two years ago at Baltimore Washington International Airport over the Fourth of July weekend when they discovered what a man had been "hiding" in his, um, body cavity.

Seems he'd shoved a can of Mace up where the sun don't shine.

TSA officers actually did not discover the can. They were alerted to the man after he ran barefoot from the security line (he'd already removed his shoes) for the nearest restroom. It seems the Mace was having unintended consequences. The man was caught trying to throw away the can.

Trouble with Ken?

TSA officers in Wisconsin found a 4.5-inch knife hidden inside a Barbie doll box in a passenger's carry-on bag. When they questioned the passenger, he said he thought he'd put the knife in another Barbie box in his checked baggage.

They didn't look dangerous

Do you sometimes wonder why TSA officials bother searching tykes, the infirm and the elderly?

Well, security officers at a Florida checkpoint found a box cutter -- similar to that used by the 9/11 hijackers -- hidden in the undercarriage of a wheelchair.

Another Florida traveler concealed a 3.5-inch blade in a baby carrier.

In Denver, officers found a 5-inch blade hidden in a passenger's cane.

James Walsh • 612-673-7428