PLEASE DON’T DO THIS Not that they’ll listen. It’s the Hipster Olympics.

 

LISTICLE OF THE DAY 13+ things your pizza delivery person won’t tell you. These include “I really don’t like to make small talk.” Okay. Never really chatted up the delivery guy. There are other things he WON’T TELL YOU, and you have to wonder: Why? Does he have a sore throat? If that’s the case, should he be serving food and going around in public?

 

There are two tics that are starting to annoy me: XX things XX person won’t tell you, and “The best (something) you will see today. Don’t tell me that. You have no idea. I don’t care if you think it’s the best picture of a panda parachuting into a vat of molasses; the day is young. A better one could come along.

 

Reader’s Digest is turning into Cracked for seniors, it seems - lots of lists. There’s the things your movie theater employee won’t tell you.

For the first month or two of screening, money from ticket sales goes to movie studios. Theaters rely on concession stands to make money. That’s why concessions are overpriced. Popcorn costs almost nothing to make.

Well, yes. If he doesn’t tell it to you, it’s because it’s common knowledge. And also because you didn’t ask.

 

The list of suggested Reader’s Digest pages you may enjoy includes “Pictures of cats. Funny!” Could be the start of something there.

 

PICTURE OF THE DAY This is not the Moth-Eaten Hitler Impersonator Contest, but it could be.

 

Also, it’s possible to paint your room to resemble one of those tiresome pictures that has some generic nature scene with a “deep” philosophical remark pasted over it. Really, it’s possible.

 

Incidentally, local TV station where I first saw the Not-Hitler picture: I’d link to your slideshow, but any link defaults to the first picture, so no traffic. Also, the internet hates slideshows.

 

GREAT NEWS There might be a new Star Trek TV show. Worst possible horrible detail: it’s animated.

 

I remember when the animated version of TOS came out; how we hungered for new Trek. But something was wrong from the very start: the theme song was upside down.

 

 

 

The background music wasn’t bad - here’s 1:30 minutes worth. But that’s all there was. Over and over and over again they used it. Especially the first one. Which is also the second one.

 

 

 

 

What I remember most - besides that damned music clip, which I cannot get out of my head at the moment (Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum, Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum!) - is how half the show consisted of heads, tilted at an angle. Often times the heads said nothing; they were listening heads. But there were some excellent sci-fi stories in there! D.C. Fontana wrote for it! Agreed. But the heads. Also, the music.

 

GEE THANKS DAD: A letter from Ted Turner’s father, lamenting his choice of college majors. The old boy knew how to wield the whip. Warning: salty. Note that the father dismisses the virtues of knowing who Leonidas was, and calls him “The prominent Greek of the 12th century.” But he was king of Sparta from 254-235 BC. Not the 12th. Unless there’s another Leonidas? Nope.

 

Lance Lawson solution: he knew she hadn’t been home, because she hadn’t picked up the newspapers. Of course.It’s the little things that always trip up criminals. That strip would be different today, wouldn’t it? “How did you know I was there?” “Because we have security camera footage.” It would have been the answer to every single mystery.

 

Have a great weekend; see you Monday.